Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Genitalia with your tea, ma'am?

misc_rantschick_stuffFor the ultimate in biscuit fanciness, there is no going past Arnott's Iced Vovo. A beautifully ornate vanilla biscuit base, topped with (or rather, bottomed with, as you have to turn it over) two lines of pink coconut icing, one delicious line of strawberry jam, all lovingly sprinkled with coconut. They're the ultimate lady biscuit.

And I don't just mean FOR ladies either...

See, this is probably a sign of growing up (or sexual frustration, I'm not sure which), but only lately have I noticed the not-so-subtle similarity between the Vovo and, er...ladies' bits.

Iced Vulva, anyone?

If it weren't for the coconut you could use it as a teaching aid in schools! Not to mention keep the staff room well stocked.

This got me thinking (well actually, it got me thinking rather a lot before I put it into my mouth, I can tell you) - do Arnott's KNOW about this? I mean, the biscuit has been around since 1906 - was pre-war sexual repression rearing its ugly head in the design of this beloved bikkie?

I can imagine the Arnott's boardroom full of men in moustaches and bowler hats looking at a design on the company blackboard with shifty eyes, murmuring "Mmmm, yes Fotheringham, lovely work...Iced VoVo did you say? Yeesss....LOVELY, really SUPER, haw haw haw!" and rubbing their hands with glee as they imagined all the society ladies dunking them in their tea...

My only question now is - where are the Iced Weenies? Or Iced Wangers? or Iced Todgers? They wouldn't be as pretty to look at, but they'd certainly be more fun to bite into.


  1. oh my god..... iced vulva....
    oh lord..... - thats gonna give me nightmares for months and months.....
    although - what were you thinking when you saw that!? What level was your mind on!? heh heh!! :)

  2. It also looks distressingly like a used sanitary pad... Paging Dr Freud...

  3. Brilliant! You've helped my diet by quashing my desire to ever eat another biscuit for fear of turning lesbian (like there's not already enough incentives...)