Saturday, July 17, 2004

People are strange, when you're on Ebay...

misc_rantsIt's official. I've had my first nutter-on-ebay experience. From what I've heard, nutters are rife on Ebay, and I'd been feeling a bit left out that I hadn't come across any during my recent spate of sales (I need MONEY, dammit! Sell everything! Sell it all!!!)
*Ahem*. Anyway, that all changed last week when I got an email from a strange person advising me that if the winning bidder on my red leather boots fell through, he would buy them.
'Why didn't he just bid in the first place?' I thought.
BECAUSE HE'S BEEN KICKED OFF EBAY! That's right, this is what he told me. He also told me he had a comic book heroine fetish.
HURRAH! I thought. A real, bonafide, grade-a nutter. I had caught one at last!
Then he told me he wanted a photo of me wearing the boots, dressed as Wonder Woman, and I started to rethink the transaction.
Below is a copy of the email that greeted me this morning, and has left me in a state of near catatonia until now. Enjoy.
PS: All formatting is author's own. NUTTER!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello I will go to bank Today and You will get a check for $59 to You -it's Better This Way-but I will Use Your e-mail name on the envelope. I wil try and get bank to make it in U.S.$'s but if I can't Your Bank should make No Fuss. Since Your Boots are Leather Insides I will buy. PetStarr when You mail the boots Please Let me Know Your Wishes should I Keep the Boots & Enjoy Them or Would Your have No Objection to Me Making Them a Present to a Tall Fashionable Female. I Say this PetStarr because I had e-mails & letters from Other Women Who Sold Me Their Boots Who Said I Hope You Enjoy the Boots-Please be Honest because I Know I Offended Many Women Who I said I make a Present of Them to Other Women. PetStarr We are both Adults I would also say to You before I get My Letter to You that Warner Brothers wants to make a Movie with a Wonder Woman Role & if You Fell You have the Looks Why not send a pictures of Yourself weaing the boots to Warner Brothers Pictures. PetStarr if Your Not Married or Engaged or Steadily Dating I would greatly Appreciate a Picture of You Wearing the Boots-Maybe dressed Up as a Comic Book Super Heroine-for Buying & Collecting Woman's Leather Boots is a Extension of My Collection of  Comic Books on Heroines/Super Heroines. PetStarr if You wish to wear the boots till You get My check I have No Objection-just without fake Man Made Stockings-They Don't Breather & Many Women have Trouble because They wear fake Man Made Shoes.Underwear & Clothing. PetStarr Don't be Mislead I'm Basically a Straight Guy-Former Asthmatic-Never did Illegal Drugs-Don't Smoke & Hardly Drink Booze. Maybe We will do Other Leather Boots Business. It's Unfortunate a British Seller after I Told Her I was Kicked off e-bay didn't want to sell Me Her White Leather Platform Boots. I have to go to Bank Now-I Hope Your Not Offended-Your Friend-RG (42 Year Old Big & Tall Single Man Who Buys a Pair of Leather Boots for a Female Friend-Fan)-


  1. omg... all those capital letters are Quite Scary Indeed!


  2. Hi Petstarr, Nelly off B3ta here. I must say that a) this is one of the funniest things I've possibly ever seen b)When I sold my red Vespa I decided to do it with pics of me on it and got propositioned (i.e. "Do you come with the bike" fnar fnar)so I can empathise c)You're a great blogger! I'm so jealous. Need. More. Hummus!


  3. Stickman_ben (from b3ta)
    That is one of the funniest things I've read in ages.
    I love the fact that he says: "former asthmatic"
    Top blogging!

  4. So sorry about my Father. I've bought him some little red wellies to hopefully quell his boot passion.

  5. Ahhh that guy is scary. I think you should send him pictures of you wearing them, then add some testicles and hair for added sexiness.

    Or get a naked male friend to wear them!

  6. He says he has never done any drugs? I think that perhaps he should...