Saturday, July 17, 2004

People are strange, when you're on Ebay...

misc_rantsIt's official. I've had my first nutter-on-ebay experience. From what I've heard, nutters are rife on Ebay, and I'd been feeling a bit left out that I hadn't come across any during my recent spate of sales (I need MONEY, dammit! Sell everything! Sell it all!!!)
 
*Ahem*. Anyway, that all changed last week when I got an email from a strange person advising me that if the winning bidder on my red leather boots fell through, he would buy them.
 
'Why didn't he just bid in the first place?' I thought.
 
BECAUSE HE'S BEEN KICKED OFF EBAY! That's right, this is what he told me. He also told me he had a comic book heroine fetish.
 
HURRAH! I thought. A real, bonafide, grade-a nutter. I had caught one at last!
 
Then he told me he wanted a photo of me wearing the boots, dressed as Wonder Woman, and I started to rethink the transaction.
 
Below is a copy of the email that greeted me this morning, and has left me in a state of near catatonia until now. Enjoy.
 
PS: All formatting is author's own. NUTTER!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Hello I will go to bank Today and You will get a check for $59 to You -it's Better This Way-but I will Use Your e-mail name on the envelope. I wil try and get bank to make it in U.S.$'s but if I can't Your Bank should make No Fuss. Since Your Boots are Leather Insides I will buy. PetStarr when You mail the boots Please Let me Know Your Wishes should I Keep the Boots & Enjoy Them or Would Your have No Objection to Me Making Them a Present to a Tall Fashionable Female. I Say this PetStarr because I had e-mails & letters from Other Women Who Sold Me Their Boots Who Said I Hope You Enjoy the Boots-Please be Honest because I Know I Offended Many Women Who I said I make a Present of Them to Other Women. PetStarr We are both Adults I would also say to You before I get My Letter to You that Warner Brothers wants to make a Movie with a Wonder Woman Role & if You Fell You have the Looks Why not send a pictures of Yourself weaing the boots to Warner Brothers Pictures. PetStarr if Your Not Married or Engaged or Steadily Dating I would greatly Appreciate a Picture of You Wearing the Boots-Maybe dressed Up as a Comic Book Super Heroine-for Buying & Collecting Woman's Leather Boots is a Extension of My Collection of  Comic Books on Heroines/Super Heroines. PetStarr if You wish to wear the boots till You get My check I have No Objection-just without fake Man Made Stockings-They Don't Breather & Many Women have Trouble because They wear fake Man Made Shoes.Underwear & Clothing. PetStarr Don't be Mislead I'm Basically a Straight Guy-Former Asthmatic-Never did Illegal Drugs-Don't Smoke & Hardly Drink Booze. Maybe We will do Other Leather Boots Business. It's Unfortunate a British Seller after I Told Her I was Kicked off e-bay didn't want to sell Me Her White Leather Platform Boots. I have to go to Bank Now-I Hope Your Not Offended-Your Friend-RG (42 Year Old Big & Tall Single Man Who Buys a Pair of Leather Boots for a Female Friend-Fan)-



6 comments :

  1. omg... all those capital letters are Quite Scary Indeed!

    *shudders*

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Petstarr, Nelly off B3ta here. I must say that a) this is one of the funniest things I've possibly ever seen b)When I sold my red Vespa I decided to do it with pics of me on it and got propositioned (i.e. "Do you come with the bike" fnar fnar)so I can empathise c)You're a great blogger! I'm so jealous. Need. More. Hummus!

    Nelly
    www.wibsite.com/wiblog/nellykins

    ReplyDelete
  3. Stickman_ben (from b3ta)
    That is one of the funniest things I've read in ages.
    I love the fact that he says: "former asthmatic"
    Top blogging!

    ReplyDelete
  4. So sorry about my Father. I've bought him some little red wellies to hopefully quell his boot passion.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ahhh that guy is scary. I think you should send him pictures of you wearing them, then add some testicles and hair for added sexiness.

    Or get a naked male friend to wear them!

    ReplyDelete
  6. He says he has never done any drugs? I think that perhaps he should...

    ReplyDelete