Thursday, November 25, 2004

Botox is the pits.

misc_rantsbitch_erySo Bridget Jones opened in Australia recently, and little Renee Zellweger came over to woo the crowds and show how un-Bridget she now looks (ie: v. v. thin). Of course, unlike Bridget, who is allowed to be as fat and daggy as possible and we'll still love her to bits, Renee is a star and isn't ever allowed to have a hair out of place, or, GOD FORBID, sweat patches under her arms.

We've ALL been there, people: a warmish day, a poly-cotton shirt, a casual wave and a "Hey Bob!" followed by gasps and fainting from passers by as you reveal those attractive dark circles, so conveniently hidden away most of the time (brewing...)

Anyway, had Renee had one of those "Hey Bob!" moments at the opening of B.J, who KNOWS what might have happened. She might have been clapped in irons and sent off to fashion jail. So, to prevent anarchy, she did the only logical and sane thing she could do.

She Botox-ed her pits.

"This Botox stops me sweating but now I can't put my arm down."

Botoxing your armpits is apparently all the rage these days, as it paralyses your sweat glands and they stop producing sweat. Potential fashion disasters averted. Pretty nifty idea. In fact, I think it's a corker of an idea. But it got me thinking.

If your armpits stop producing sweat, do you produce MORE sweat elsewhere? Did Renee have to bring some changes of underpants to the premiere? Or was she constantly dabbing her face with a Wet-One? Actually, considering the amount of Botox already in her face, the sweat was probably forced to re-route from there too.

In any case, I'm looking into it. I knew Botox had to have a practical use.


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