Thursday, December 23, 2004

Sub-standard advertising

adver_tisingContinuing with my rant about annoying advertising (I told you I watch too much TV), there is a commercial on Australian TV at the moment for Subway restaurants that is really bothering me. Well, I say "restaurant" but really, I don't think they're going for their third Michelin star any time soon.

Anyway this ad has a bunch of smarmy Subway employees - oh, no wait, "sandwich artists". I'm sorry, but the only "art" that assembling a sandwich comes close to is painting by numbers. Or possibly model making. Which we all know is only enjoyed by high school geeks who can't get dates.

So anyway, there's these smarmy sandwich artists standing around a telephone (behind the counter, mind you, so I'd imagine there was a fair bit of "Oi punk, where's my farking sanger?" that they've had to edit out) talking to some poor, overworked, underpaid lad at the local McDonalds. Oooops!!! Almost gave that away!! Woo! Sorry, I meant "Fries and Burgers", as the store is called in this commercial. (Gosh, that was close).

Anyway the conversation goes something like this:

SMARMY ARTIST: Hello, Fries and Burgers? Do you bake your own bread, fresh every day?
OVERWORKED, UNDERPAID LAD: No.
SMARMY ARTIST: *giggle giggle* Oh, right. Well what about olives? Can I get olives at your store?
OVERWORKED, UNDERPAID LAD: No.
SMARMY ARTIST: *giggle giggle* What about jalapenos?
OVERWORKED, UNDERPAID LAD: No.
SMARMY ARTIST: *full blown hysterical laughter* Can I get a SUB at your store then?
OVERWORKED, UNDERPAID LAD: No, we're not a Subway restaurant.
SMARMY ARTIST: *struggling to breathe through debilitating laughter attack* No mate, you're not even close!


And thus ends the vignette.

My question is - what is the fucking point here? I'm pretty sure that most people recognise that they can't buy a sub sandwich at a McDonalds. I'm sure they realise they can't buy a 6 piece dining setting at KFC either, but you don't see The Furniture Works being all smarmy about it. "No mate, Pizza Hut's not even CLOSE to being Ikea."

Look, Subway. We know you think you're all special and cool because you sell snacks with green stuff in them (I think it's called salad) and you have shit on your menu that is actually healthy, but SPARE US, ok.

Why don't you try looking at your staff a bit harder: when looking up "subway restaurant employee" in Google image search, this is what I got. Enough said.



1 comment :

  1. Besides, the whole prank calling of a fast food restaurant has already been done by Merrick and Rosso ad nauseum.

    Those mug shots of Subway Restaurant Employees seem remarkably similar to those guys who made off with The Scream not long ago. Maybe these "sandwich artists" are being trained underground in some other form of art appreciation?

    I'll start making the fridge magnets...

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