Friday, January 21, 2005

Weight Watchers: you are their bitch.

misc_rantschick_stuffOk. Firstly, let me just say that I have been a member of Weight Watchers in the past. Not that I was GROSSLY overweight or anything (hey, if you can still fit through your front door, you're fine). And yes, I have to admit, it worked quite well.

But a friend of mine who has just started on it drew my attention to a strange anomaly in the world famous Weight Watchers Points Guide. This is the fascist little book of dietary mathematics that converts food into numbers and tells you how fat you'll get if you eat a slice of chocolate mudcake. (And for the record - it's more than a Big Mac, so just keep that in mind next time you're having a good time and not thinking about weight at all. Let the Points Guide ruin your next birthday celebrations).

Even Jesus wants you to join us. Weight Watchers: you are our bitch.

My friend discovered in this book that a FRIED prawn dumpling is worth 1 point, while a STEAMED dumpling is worth 1.5 points. Which makes me think - is this whole points system actually a complete crock of crap? Are the Weight Watchers scientists (assuming they hire any, and don't just sit around after weigh-ins making this shit up) just randomly pulling point values from their svelte arses?

"Hmm, it's Tuesday today, and this year's a leap year, so this potato chip must be...3 points."

Who decides these point values? They can't be based on fat content or calories alone - how to explain the dumpling conundrum? Could this be the new chaos theory? A woman takes a bite out of a dimsim in China, and a Norwegian suddenly puts on 5 kilos?

Anyway, allowing foods like chocolate mudcake onto the points list seems completely ridiculous, given that a slice will cost you 26 points and you're allowed a maximum of 20 a day. "No breakfast for me thanks, I'm going to have an inch of this slice of cake....I'll skip lunch today guys, I'm having a bit of my cake slice....Sorry, can't make it to dinner, I've got to finish off my cake...." And then you have to skip breakfast the next day too, to keep balance in the mathematical food-iverse.

Still, I suppose if I had stuck to the plan I wouldn't be worried about my lovehandles so much.


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