Sunday, January 23, 2005

Whingeing queens

misc_rantsbitch_eryI'm sure I'm not the only one to have noticed a bit of a "whinge" trend in pop music of recent times. It seems lately all I've heard is teen queens whingeing about their over exposure. (The fact that WE'VE all been whingeing about it for years seems not to affect them.)

Britters has re worked Bobby Brown's classic celebrity whinge anthem My Prerogative and introduced a whole new generation to crap early 90s beat loops. Sorry, did I say re worked? I think the word I'm looking for is 'copied'. It's pretty much the same, although she did remove the lyrics about how it's her prerogative to snort a kilo of cocaine while beating her wife.

Now Lindsay Lohan has gotten in on the act. Who? You know, that chick from that movie with the thing, who used to be in Parent Trap. She's a shy, retiring lass, our Lindsay, and she's downright FED UP with all this press she and her implants have been getting. So she's decided to fight the power, with song, releasing her first single Rumours. Rumour is that it's crap.

Obviously Lindsay was sick of all the attention she was getting from her films so, cleverly, she made herself into a pop princess, recorded a song, shot a sexy video and threw herself all over the media to promote it. Brilliant plan.

"That bitch better keep her tits in while the cameras are on us. It's LINDSAY'S time to shine."

I just LOVE the lyrics of this song, they're 100% pure teen-queen whinge gold:

Here we are back up in the club
People taking pictures
Don't you think they get enough
I just wanna be all over the floor
And throw my hands up in the air to a beat like "What?"

I've gotta say respectfully
I would like it if you take the cameras off of me
'Cause I just want a little room to breathe
Can you please respect my privacy.

Oh, my heart goes out to her, it really does. She can't even throw her hands up in the air to a beat like "What?" because of all those BASTARD photographers. To be honest, Lindsay, I don't think photos of you dancing in a club are going to make the front page any time soon. It's what you're doing in the BACK ROOM of the club they're trying to get.

But in any case, she's right: she's altogether too talentless to be THIS over promoted. Memo to paparazzi: remember when Jennifer Love Hewitt released a pop song? Mmm, thought not.

I'm all for Lindsay having her privacy. It will mean we don't have to put up with her stupid freckly face anymore, or hear the stories of how she was a child model/actress/cocaine dealer* when she was 5.

Speaking of spinning (we were, weren't we?) it's Paris Hilton, in her underwear, spinning to Dead or Alive. That's what the web is all about.

*may not be true.

1 comment :

  1. Yeah, I've noticed the stupidity with this chick.

    "I'm a celebrity now, but hey, please don't pay attention to me"

    I'm sure that the moment that they disappear off the radar is the moment they start complaining about obscurity...