adver_tisingtv_mediaContinuing with my series of rants about dodgy advertising (on sexy advertising, Jilas, Subway...) I would now like to turn your attention to the new Maccers campaign.
I'm talking about the one where people's stomachs open up and little children pop out.
Sounds appetising, doesn't it?
A Maccers advert or the new Aphex Twin video?
WHOSE DEMENTED IDEA WAS THIS?? Ok, we get the SUBTLE MESSAGE - come to Maccers, eat a cheeseburger and release your inner child. Great, fine, got it. WE DON'T NEED IT GRAPHICALLY ILLUSTRATED ON OUR TV SCREENS 100 MILLION TIMES DURING AUSTRALIAN IDOL!
ARGH! THE FEAR!
This advert disturbs me beyond measure.
Not only do we have to watch creepy kids crawling out of trapdoors in unsuspecting people's stomachs, it's all accompanied by a bizarre sing-songy music background that is now, for me, only slightly less creepy than the theme song from Deliverance.
"Ohhh meee...ohhh myyyyy....spy my lit-tle eyyye...my oh me ohhhh myyy...."
ARGHH!!! You can imagine an axe murderer in some teen slasher movie singing it as he stalks his pretty blonde prey down to the basement...
"Hurry up and get out of there, I'm cranking for a Happy Meal and I have to be back inside my host body in 20 minutes."
Speaking of host bodies - could this perhaps be some sort of subversive Scientology propaganda? Are these "inner children" actually operating Thetans with a case of the munchies? Is Ronald McDonald really L Ronald Hubbard?
As disturbing as this ad is, at least it's got high production values - which is more than anyone can say for the other Maccers ads currently doing the rounds with that annoying blonde girl from that failed soapie no one remembers doing over-excited vox pops with sandwiches.
"WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY ONE OF THESE ROLLS? WHADDYA THINK? WHERE D'YA THINK IT'S FROM?!!???" she shrieks at anyone who will listen.
Various idiotic munchers reply with things like "Geee...Subwayyy? A deli...is it from a deliiii?" before she reveals the HUGE surprise that actually, that weird red and yellow clown standing over there in the phone box made it.
Just once, I would like someone to say "A clown made these rolls? Really? A clown? What deli is he from?" to make the point that Ronald isn't as well known as he bloody thinks he is. You hardly hear of Ronald anymore anyway - which is probably why he's now seemingly forced to peddle sandwiches in local malls.
Speaking of which, I wish Maccers and Jackers and all those other fat-filled havens would stop pretending they offer healthy food ("Wow, this salad has less than 10 grams of fat!" SO IT FUCKING SHOULD, IT'S A GOD DAMN SALAD! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH 10 GRAMS IS??) and just go back to doing what they do best - selling us the artery clogging goodness we all know and love.
And if they could manage to put out an advert that doesn't either annoy or revolt us, that'd be good too.