Monday, January 30, 2006

Wolfmother lead singer has a bigger problem than his hairdo.

Now, as much as I dislike Aussie rip off merchants rockers Wolfmother, this posting is not brought to you in malice, but with the simple aim of raising awareness of a crippling new physical condition that deserves our understanding and support - Dodgy Rock Leg Disorder (or DRLD).

In what is a bittersweet 'victory' for the National DRLD Association, Wolfmother's lead singer and guitarist, Andrew Stockdale, is a chronic sufferer of the disorder, something which has gained DRLD national exposure in recent months.

The main symptom of the disorder is an insatiable desire to lift one's leg at odd moments, effecting what is often described as a "faux rock" pose.


Andrew Stockdale in a particularly debilitating moment at the Big Day Out.
Photo source: http://www.smh.com.au/ftimages/2005/01/27/1106415711784.html


Sufferers are often subjected to humiliating abuse from members of the public and are accused of "trying too hard" when on stage or playing a musical instrument.


This photo clearly shows Stockdale suffering under the effects of the disorder.
Photo source: http://www.theage.com.au/news/music/fans-just-go-with-the-fro/2006/01/29/1138469606447.html

Despite DRLD being a relatively unknown disorder, support group numbers are growing as awareness of the affliction increases. Sufferers like Stockdale regularly attend meetings where they can learn how to manage their symptoms.

 
Stockdale's symptoms have noticeably lessened since he started attending his local DRLD support group. "Now I don't always feel the need to lift my leg the whole way up," he said.
Photo source: http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/gallery/homebake2004/html/photo8.htm


One of the most difficult parts of the disorder to manage, says Stockdale, is that it can manifest itself both on and off stage.

"If it happens on stage, at least I can make it look like I was MEANT to do it, you know. Especially if it happens on a power chord," he said.

"But it's really annoying when I'm just down the shops or something, and suddenly I'm kicking over magazine stands or kneeing someone in the back. It's really embarrassing."

Stockdale in the grip of a DRLD episode backstage.

An all-too-frequent DRLD episode on the red carpet.

Stockdale has taken to natural therapies like yoga to treat his DRLD.

Now Stockdale has been taken on as the national face (or leg) of DRLD, his Wolfmother bandmates are joining in the support.

"We hope to start up a National 'Shake A Leg Day' or something like that," said bassist Chris Ross.

"The slogan could be 'Help the NRLDA - or they won't have a leg to stand on," said drummer Myles Heskett.


Rock on, boys.

NOTE: this posting is entirely fictional, and the author bears no ill will to Stockdale or the rest of Led Zeppelin Black Sabbath Wolfmother.



12 comments :

  1. i interviewed the singer of wolfmother once. he was quite a nice fellow believe it or not. funny too.

    even said it would be ok for me to start a band called 'Dances with Wolfmother'

    True Story.

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  2. I would have thought 'Dances TO Wolfmother' might make more sense... But I like your style.

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  3. Meheheh

    If you see Airbourne at the BDO, you'll find them to be suffering from this crippling disease also.

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  4. haha that's awesome!!

    nice work.

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  5. AAHAHAHAHAA.. fuck that's hilarious :)

    and yeah, I've wondered about the crazy WOLFMOTHER afro too.. and I'm under the sneaking impression as I see more and more indie bands WITH the afro.. that perhaps the indie rock afro, is this years indie rock scarf thing.. just wait till you see EVERY band trying to do it.. then it's gonna get REAAAL scary..

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  6. my joke obviously went way over your head petstarr

    what the hell kind of journalist are you anyways!?

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  7. Are you kidding me Matt? I'm not fucking stupid! I understand the whole Kevin Costner reference. Just thought it would still be obvious if you changed 'with' to 'to', plus it would be more appropriate. Anyway - guess MY joke went over YOUR head! :)

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  8. Petstarr, this is cool and clever :) See ya soon.

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  9. I GUESS YOUR FACE WENT OVER YOUR ASS!!!!

    :P

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  10. those pictures have all gone down... pity to spoil such a good post.

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  11. T'as l'air un peu conne ma vieille...

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