I believe I am one of very few people in the world who actually enjoys receiving junk mail. In fact, when I moved into the bachelorette pad I actually removed the NO JUNK MAIL sticker from my letterbox so that I would get more of it. Now every day my letterbox is bursting with a colourful array of shiny waste paper made from old growth forests, and I couldn't be happier.
So, given my current penchant for starting new sections here at the BC, I'm launching a new regular section - the Junk mail round up - in which I will share the glorious contents of my box with you. So to speak.
"I totally didn't get that movie, but I know this shirt is cool."
Suggested alternate uses for previously cool T shirts now featured in this week's Target catalogue:
- Shoe polishing rag
- Window polishing rag
- Any sort of polishing rag, really
- Costume for a 2004 themed fancy dress party
$19.99 though, that is a bargain.
Not as big a bargain as THIS though.
I think perhaps this ad should actually read ATTENTION: $2 HOOKER!, because that's basically what this handbag says about any woman carrying it. Sure it's genuine leather - PIG leather, from the unsavoury parts of the pig, dyed an even less savoury colour and then stitched together in a "patchwork" style to hide the fact that their origins were ear, ankle and snout. Not sure if the cheap jewellery comes with it, but I am thrilled that the bag doubles as an attractive flower vase.
Clearly Jenny & Tom aren't very GOOD graphic designers, as they've resorted to using someone else's generic flower clipart design on their promotional sticky labels. Perhaps they should read "Jenny & Tom Armstrong: Lazy as SHIT Graphic Designers with No Talent", although that might not fit.
For those who like to dress for comfort.
"AT LAST!" is right! For so many years I have endured comfortable nights' sleep, free of studs, clasps and tight elastic. Thank GOD someone's come up with a way to ruin all that, by inventing a bra I can sleep in. Not COULD sleep in, CAN sleep in. Clearly they know as well as I that there are lots of us who WISH we could, and now - a solution. Praise the Lord! Sure, it looks like something your gran would purchase at the chemist, but you can have TWO of them for the price of one!
See why I love junk mail?