Monday, November 13, 2006

An interim post while I slowly lose my mind

As I am currently payint US $0.25 a minute for the privilege of using a computer that is connected to the internet, I can't say much, even though I am brimming with stories to tell (including my out of body experience with BOB DYLAN AND JACK WHITE last night)(yes, you read that right, Bob Dylan AND Jack White)(in bed together)(ok so that's not true)(it was just me and Jack in bed together)(ok so that's not true either). My friends will also know that I currently have no mobile phone, as America, in its everlasting quest to prove it is different from and better than the rest of the world, is on a different mobile network and so my normal one doesn't work. This has left me in a technology free zone which, as those who know me would know, has left me wanting to tear my hair out slowly whilst setting fire to each of my toenails individually.

So I have just one thing to say to this country:

"Hello, America? HEARD OF THE INTERNET? IT'S REALLY NEAT, MAYBE YOU WANT TO HOOK SOME COMPUTERS UP TO IT SO PEOPLE CAN, YOU KNOW, USE IT? I mean, I know you're all wealthy and your entire population is up to speed with the latest gadgets and technology and shit, and everyone has an iPod and a Blackberry and they can get their emails on their digital watches, but guess what? NOT EVERYONE HAS A GOD DAMN LAPTOP, OK? NOT EVERYONE CAN WALK INTO A STARBUCKS AND HOOK UP TO YOUR STUPID HI-SPEED WI FI INTERNET BROADBAND ADSL WEBDOWN NETLINK CRAP. SOME OF US ACTUALLY NEED A COMPUTER.

This is what happens when one is deprived of the internet for too long.

Oh, and PS: Vietnam is technically a third world country, and it has broadband access coming out its arse, not to mention more computers than you on every street corner. Think about it."


  1. Just think about sunshine and lollypops, Pet. Or Jack White and Bob Dylan. Hope you're having a great time despite being cut off from technology.

  2. Wow, I would have thought America would have computers available everywhere. Who'd have thunk it?

  3. Yeah that pissed me off when I was last in the States too.

    However regarding your analogy, I'd imagine there'd be more Net cafés in Vietnam as less people would be able to afford computers/phonelines in their homes, as opposed to America, where few people would need Net cafés as everyone would already be connected at home.

  4. Carn Petra

    less about currency and how tres coooool NY is and more about the massive food portions those yanks dish up ... what is the worst/best food deal youve seen so far ?

  5. Hi there,
    Just started reading your blog this year for AusNTM. Love it!!
    The next time you are in NY, do check out the Internet cafe on Times Square. It costs $1 per hour (I think, unless they increased it to $2). It is on 42nd St and between 7th and 8th Ave.