RuPaul's Drag Race season 9 recaps

The shadiest Drag Race recaps on the web. Get ready to death drop, queens!

The Bachelorette Australia recaps

One woman, 14 desperate men, mucho LOLs. Oh, and Osher Gunsberg.

The Bachelor Australia recaps

Sequins, spray tans and sex - it's season 3 of the world's stupidest dating show.

RuPaul's Drag Race Season 8 recaps

YASS, HUNTIES! Every episode of season eight recapped for your reading pleasure. Let's get sickening!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Junk mail round up Vol 4

After a spectacular 2006, it seems the flow of interesting and pay-out-worthy junk mail to the Bachelorette pad has stemmed somewhat in the opening months of 2007. Either there's not enough old growth forests left to publish Cheap as Chips catalogues, or all the crap merchants are still on holiday.

But never fear! Your always thrifty PetStarr has skimmed the fat from the catalogue stock over the last few weeks and now I bring you: Junk Mail Round Up Volume 4 - the collectors' edition.

Starting with THE GENERAL TRADER catalogue:

Is YOUR crockery clever?

The crockery so clever, it has an IQ test result of 140. "How is it clever?" I hear you ask. Well, see, because it's painted, it LOOKS full all the time - even when it's empty. It's genius! Can't wait to see what your chicken vindaloo looks like when it's served in that marshmallow bowl, though.

Yo, bitch, check my ice.

I can just see the poor bastard made to write the blurbs for these items.

JADED EX JOURNALIST: Bob, do we really HAVE to write some crap for EVERY one of these things?

BOB: Orders from head office. It makes the catalogue feel more like a magazine, apparently.

JEJ: Well what the fuck am I supposed to write about an ice cube tray?

BOB: Make up some crap about ice looking like diamonds. Isn't that what the kids are calling it now anyway?

JEJ: I suppose it's better than making a drug reference.

It's so EASY!

Ooh, an apple peeling machine! It makes peeling apples as easy as pie!

Am I the only one who thinks this looks REALLY FUCKING DIFFICULT? HOW is this contraption in any way easier than just peeling the apple with a normal peeler? Actually though, when you think about it, they're not really even lying - pie is pretty hard.

Moving on to a random flyer:

Only 1001? Have they actually calculated that?

Labels SO AMAZING that even David Beckham, Lizzie McGuire and Johnny Depp use them to label their lunchboxes for school recess. Lizzie's not even REAL, so that PROVES how amazing they are. And sure, Johnny can't spell his own name correctly, but he scores an extra point for opting for the skull and crossbones clipart - very topical.

And on to Cheap as Chips:

Bad hat.

And finally - I don't know what year the people at Cheap as Chips think it is, but I'm pretty sure I haven't seen a dollar like this since about, ooh, 1984?!

100% guaranteed fatal.

Either they're implying that their merchandise is stuck in the 80s, or that they've fixed the flux capacitor on their Delorean and they're not afraid to use it.

Either way, I'm excited.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Lily Allen + The Streets = Lily Skinner

Read this today about current Br(it)pop girl Lily Allen apparently having a 24 hour shag-a-thon with The Streets' Mike Skinner in Japan, and it ocurred to me:

Riding round the city on my bike all day cos BLINDED BY THE LIGHTS, BLINDED BY THE LIGHTS.


Not convinced? Have a dodgy Photoshop:

At first when I see you cry, it makes me DON'T MUG YOURSELF, THAT'S ALL, DON'T MUG YOURSELF.

Of course if that's true it means Lily's 24 hours in Japan might ACTUALLY have been a bit more ... individually explorative.

Something to think about, anyway.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Anyone know what this guy wants?

Out and about in Chinatown tonight I saw this sign on the community noticeboard. I'm not sure what this person is after, but I understand fruit is part of the transaction.

What if my preferred foods are fondue and minestrone?

So hang on - I spend 40 to 50 hours with you in your insurance car (or part of it), driving around wherever, and you pay me in fruit?