Sunday, March 18, 2007

Incredible Inedibles: Pocari Sweat

I love Asian supermarkets. Apart from having completely awesome items unavailable anywhere else (Yan Yan, anyone?), they fulfil two of my basic entertainment needs when I'm out food shopping: Crazy foods and mental packaging.

There are dried up things that look like mummified testicles, dried up fish that may or may not have been run over several times by a B-double truck, lollies that look like fireworks and lots of products involving "haw".

That's why it was no surprise to see a bottle of sweat in the fridge at my local.


Thirsty?


Remember those vomit-inducing ads for Gatorade that sent you running to the basin with the memorable line "Puts back in what the sweat takes out"? Well Taiwanese beverage company POCARI's taken it one step further, presumably to eliminate any confusion.

And the great thing is, it even LOOKS like sweat!


Mmm, milky.


Lord knows, when I'm wiping the sweat from my brow after my morning workout the first thing I want to do is wring out my towel into a glass and have a nice, long drink. Well, now Pocari's done the hard work for me! Thanks, Pocari!

I'd like to think the Pocari factory is like a hotted-up version of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, with bar heaters filling every wall and employees forced to wear polar fleece 365 days a year while large men with hair dryers stand over them and force them to drip into buckets. This would then be chilled and distilled before being mixed with a delightful lemony flavour and poured into bottles. Gives a whole new meaning to the term "Asian sweatshop", doesn't it?

It actually took me several months to get up the courage to try this "ion supply drink" - I bought it in a fit of childish glee, took it home, put it in the fridge and promptly forgot all about it. Until recently, that is, when a friend stayed over after a big night and accidentally guzzled half of it in a dazed, drunk and dehydrated state at 3 o'clock in the morning. "That water tastes like shit," she announced in the morning. "Sweat, actually," was my reply, which was followed by several minutes of copious vomiting on her part.

And so, the moment of truth. What DOES sweat taste like?

Not bad, actually. Anticlimatic, I know, but it's really rather good. If you can get over the name and appearance, that is - there is a REASON Gatorade adds food dye to this shit.

It smells and tastes a bit like watered down orange and lemon cordial, and when it's chilled and poured over ice it actually comes close to being delicious. Yes, I said delicious. This could be a first for Incredible Inedibles - previous experiments have described foods as "disappointing", "dodgy" and "death in a bowl", so I think "delicious" is a new zenith (not to mention another adjective beginning with D).

Coming soon to an Asian supermarket near you - Pocari Blood and Pocari Tears. Collect the whole set!



8 comments :

  1. duuuude, that shit is SERIOUSLY fucked up.. I want some :)

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  2. "So... come inside for a nightcap?"

    "Sure - do you have any brandy?"

    "No. All I have is beer, milk, or Sweat"

    "Er..I'll call you".

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  3. Pocari Sweat makes me think of some sort of exotic animal, like pangolins or somesuch. I really hope these guys don't have rare anteaters locked up in an anteater sweatbin somewhere, producing citrus-flavoured anteater sweat. Because that would just be wrong.

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  4. that stuff is real popular in japan. i was very sweaty there once and had some and it really hit the spot. who would have thought....

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  5. haha, i drink that all the time in japan. tastes really good, can't beat it in summer.

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  6. Mmm sweet sweat. Totally awesome. To think that's what gatorade would look like without all the pretty colours - sort of like dishwater.

    I've always been afraid of gatorade, probably because of the ads "Puts back in what the sweat takes out". Errg. Vomit inducing - you are correct.

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  7. in all my years in the orient (oh just call me somerset maugham) i could never once bring myself to try that particular drink.

    the weird carbonated milkiness was all too much for me.

    nor, i might add, could i bring myself to indulge in certain odd little cream-filled wafer tubes, known so enticingly as "cream collon".

    yumma yumma yumma.

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