Sunday, October 07, 2007

Australian Idol 07 wrap up: Britpop Night

Just in case you tuned in half way through tonight's show and heard Tarisai doing Queen, Jacob Butler murdering The Beatles or Daniel Mifsud doing The Police and thought it was OLD FART FM RADIO NIGHT, you're wrong. Tonight was, in fact, BRITPOP NIGHT, otherwise known as SHITPOP NIGHT or OBVIOUS JOKE NIGHT.

Of course, as we all know, the term "Britpop" is used to describe any music that has ever come out of Britain at any stage during the last 2000 years. I was hoping that Jacob might rip out a little Greensleeves and Natalie would bust out on Auld Lang Syne, followed by a jolly good round of Rule Britannia. That's britpop, right? What? It's music, it's English. What the hell else do you want?

Tonight's QUICKNEWS update goes a little something like this:

  • Carl continues to surprise and delight everyone with his versatility by doing a Michael Buble swing number. In other breaking news: Carl is in the navy and can play the trumpet.

  • Tarisai sings Queen's Somebody to Love and announces that it's the story of her life. The producers get on the phone to the kids' helpline.

  • Daniel and Natalie take their time machine back to 1993, return to the studio in chambray outfits.

  • Jacob Butler sings The Beatles. For the first time ever this season, Australia wishes he'd sung Oasis instead.

Right, nuff o' this pissin' abaht, let's get sorted, innit?

First up tonight is Carl "Buble is Britpop" Risely who, along with the rest of the Idols this season, has taken the songchoice rulebook and wiped his swing-loving arse with it by choosing the Beatles' Can't Buy Me Love - as done by Michael Buble. FOR BRITPOP NIGHT.

Seriously - is there any genre Michael Buble HASN'T done? Even if the judges announced that next Sunday was going to be "Tibetan Buddhist Chant Night", Carl would still come out and do Bodhisattva vows with a sax break in the middle and a big brass finish.

Clearly the black suit and tie he's worn every night up to this point has finally fallen apart, as he's had to replace it with a more durable, plastic version. It actually looks like the type of jacket and tie favoured by bouncers, Sea World employees and strip club attendants, as it's the kind you can clean with Spray and Wipe and a wettex. It's the kind of jacket you can commit crimes in - fitting for this performance, really, in which Carl takes The Beatles and Michael Buble, attaches spurs to their heels and makes them fight each other in a dark alley while angry, misunderstood types cheer them on and bet on who will die first.

And so Britpop Night begins, with a Canadian swing version of a 1960s pop song performed by an Australian sailor in a raincoat. Magnificent.

Holden says he admires Carl's single-minded strategy of sticking to his niche, otherwise known as DOING THE SAME DAMN THING EVERY WEEK. Dicko says Carl killed the song with too many jazz licks and thus invented a new genre, "snuff jazz". Thousands of teenage boys around Australia suddenly come up with a great new name for their garage band. Marcia tells Carl to stay who he is, as if he were in danger of changing at all. BELIEVE US MARCIA, IF HE CHANGED A BIT, WE WOULDN'T MIND. Kyle says it was a little bland, but he still loves him, and it's a good thing he's wearing that jacket because it'll be so much easier to clean...

Next up is Tarisai "You know that Tiramisu joke? It's like, so over" Vushe, who has decided to honour the theme of the evening by singing about the queen. How lovely for all the monarchists out there. All five of them. Oh no wait, sorry, I mean she'll be singing SOME Queen - Somebody to Love. From 1976. How this fits under the category of "Britpop" is never explained.

It's also never explained how Tarisai is able to walk around the stage in a pair of the tightest jeans known to humanity. These things are so tight, scientists had to work for years on an equation that would simply allow a normal person to even put them on, let alone zip them up. It's quite possible that if Tarisai bends over mid performance and splits a seam, the resultant forces will create an entire new solar system orbiting around her midriff.

"This is a little story about myself," she begins, before launching into lyrics about dying a little every morning and crying every night, feeling locked in a prison cell and having water on the brain. In the audience, Tarisai's parents start to look a little edgy.

It's a powerhouse performance, and clearly little Taramasalata's got the biggest voice in this competition - and yet somehow I JUST DON'T CARE. Somehow my interest level in Tarisai is inversely proportional to the amount of talent she has. I'm just supremely uninterested in her and her singing.

Dicko says he might have previously criticised Tarisai for having "the emotional intensity of a ringtone" (oh, snap!) but tonight she's awesome and stuff. Clearly he's still seasick after last week's cruiseship performance. Marcia gets her sista on by saying "I'm feelin' ya, mm-hmm, know what I'm sayin'?" Kyle makes the observation that Tarisai is different on stage than she is off for about the three millionth time this season, which (understandably) drives Holden into a psychotic rage wherein he shouts "YES!" about 12 times, screams "YOWZA! YOWZA! YOWZA! YAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!", and rounds it off with a touchdown. My own reaction was somewhat similar, only it ended in me clutching my head and moaning "NO MORE POWER NOTES!" while rocking back and forth on the floor.

As the audience members practically fall over themselves with excitement, Ken Doll steps forward with what may very well be the quote of the evening:

"It must make you proud to have everyone in this room do this to you while your mum's watching."

Moving right along, and it's Ben "I'm the only singing Queen around here" Mackenzie, who brings the first ACTUAL Britpop song of the night, Oasis' Wonderwall. Only he's going to sit on a stool (strike one), kick off with a flourish of this-song-is-going-to-be-wussy chimes (strike two) and breathe his way through the Disney version (stri... oh why even bother anymore). It seems recent evictee Mark Da Costa has bequeathed his skin tight black jeans to the Idol mansion, and tonight is Ben's turn on the pants roster to wear them.

"I don't believe that anybody feels the way I dowwww..." he breathes, clearly under the mistaken belief that mispronouncing words adds "vocal interest". It has to be said he has a lovely teenage pop voice and will probably sell a million records after his first single doesn't initially do very well but is later used in an episode of Grey's Anatomy - but I'm sick to death of his heavy breathing. Honestly, every song sounds like a government warning about the dangers of asthma.

Marcia has a little of what Holden's on and mutters something about light and shade and air and POW-AH. For the second time this episode, Kyle experiences a glitch in the matrix and gives Ben the same backhander he gives him every week, about how he's such a nerdy little runty geek but he's so talented. NOTE TO KYLE: GET A NEW SCRIPT FOR NEXT WEEK. Dicko continues the backhander theme by saying Ben's a real contender, and gave a lovely performance, but he wished he hadn't because it was like something they'd roll over the end credits of a Disney film and it was basically a big pile of crap. Holden gets out his Idol calculator one more time and tells Ben he needs to add two more notes to his range. Only two. AND NO MORE THAN THAT, DAMMIT. Inspired by Kyle giving the same comments over and over again, Holden cracks his favourite gag about Tiramisu for about the 999,432nd time this season.

"If you call Tarisai Tiramisu one more time I'm going to punch you in the throat," says Monkey Boy, who has somehow managed to channel the thoughts of the entire nation and express them in one concise sentence.

Moving on to Marty "Please stop voting for me, no seriously I want to go home" Simpson, with some song by The Kooks that you don't know, and even if you did know it there's no way you'd recognise it the way Marty's singing it.

He's barely even trying in a cardigan, sneakers and jeans, and when he sings it's so garbled and chewed up it sounds like Bobcat Goldthwaite eating a racoon. The less said about this the better.

Kyle says he didn't care much for the song. Is THAT what that was, a song? Then he says something about his snatch, I'm not sure what, I'm too busy doing feng shui claps around my living room to rid it of the evil spirits of bad music that Marty has haunted it with. Dicko tells him he's hopeless and people should stop voting for him, Marty says he agrees, and Holden says something about chops. Perhaps he's already organising Marty's farewell barbecue?

Let's press on with Jacob "Britpop is my middle name" Butler, whose entire life has been working up to this point. All those years spent in dingy bars singing Blur covers, night after night practising the four chords to Wonderwall, all that effort put into growing his facial hair just so - ALL OF IT has been leading to this one, shining night of promise, in which he'll finally get to show who is the most Britpop of them all, BY SINGING LET IT BE.

That's right dear reader: After weeks and weeks of torturing us with all the dodgy Britpop he could muster, Jacob FINALLY arrives at BRITPOP NIGHT and elects to do The Beatles. Bastard - I bet everyone he'd do Song 2.

"When I find myself in times of trouble..." he starts singing, as my Idol sidecar Raoul Duke and I start sighing deeply.

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES, JACOB. Especially when he hits the chorus and can't even hit the high note on "be". Dear Jacob, why didn't you just do Song 2? You could have jumped about the stage and thrown yourself around and EVERYTHING. You could have even worn your adidas jacket again.

But Jacob's not one to let an opportunity for looking like a nob in a national arena pass him by. "LET IT BEEEEEEEEEEE" he shouts, pushing the mic stand over and staring meaningfully into the audience, before finishing with a triumphant air punch straight from The Big Book of Cliched Rock Moves. Somewhere, Mutto feels a chill.

Holden asks Jacob if he can give him some notes - namely A, E and C Flat, all of which Jacob broke tonight. Dicko says Let it Be is a real dog of a song that even McCartney couldn't do justice to. Upon hearing The Beatles being criticised Marcia leaps to their defence, saying she didn't know that they'd written any bad songs. OK Marcia, the Idols appreciate the way you bolster their egos with constant praise and such, but there's really no need to go defending Yellow Submarine or Octopus' Garden. Half of the band is dead anyway, for fuck's sake. Kyle says Jacob's got a few ticks this week, so he should probably go to the vet and get a special shampoo or something.

Next up is Daniel "Redefining the hair helmet" Mifsud, who looks like he might have actually had a haircut this week. I hope he had enough time to practice his singing - that sort of operation would take days, surely. He's doing another spurious "Britpop" choice, Message in a Bottle by The Police. Honestly, can't the Idols be suspended for this crap? Or at least grounded.

Dan does his best Bobby Flynn impression on this one, and yeah, it's alright, but zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Sorry, did I doze off there? Sorry, what I meant to say was Daniel does have a lovely voice but it's just a bit AHijkfejbeek%$%__ sac %22332sgre4. Sorry, sorry, I think my head just hit the keyboard for a second there. Look, put it this way, if Daniel DID have a message in a bottle, it would read


Dicko says that song means a lot to him and Dan over arranged it to within an inch of its life. So I think we can safely assume that if Dicko read Dan's message in a bottle, he'd rip it up and throw it back in the ocean. Still slightly groggy after Dan's performance, Marcia momentarily confuses Australian Idol for Over Arranging Songs Idol and says she thought over arranging songs was what this competition was all about. Then Daniel says something and puts her into a deep sleep. Kyle tells Daniel he has a whole lot of ticks in boxes - maybe he's the one who gave them to Jacob? Holden says he loves Daniel because he's not afraid to feel, and let us see him feel. Honestly, sometimes this stuff just writes itself.

Let's move on to Natalie "If I don't win this I'm totally going to get a job on Play School" Gauchi, who bounces in all smiles and announces she'll be doing Amy Winehouse's skank anthem Rehab. And we said noooo, noooooo, noooooooooooooo!

Given that Amy Winehouse is a broken down, drug-addled, anorexic dirty girl who sings like a gin-joint tart who regularly eats cocaine for breakfast, it's rather unnerving to hear her lyrics coming out of a girl who could reasonably be mistaken for a primary school librarian.

In fact, watching her happy little Brady Bunch face singing about going to rehab is like watching Tigger doing Marilyn Manson. The only substance I could possibly see Natalie Gauchi going to rehab for abusing is Berocca. And maybe Equal.

"This is like something you'd see down at the Italian club on the weekends," cackles Raoul. No, surely they have REAL skanks down there who could do this better?

Shocked into speechlessness, Marcia bangs on about how Amy Winehouse has atttitude and hair and she's like, crazy. A tumbleweed rolls past, as everyone thinks of what they're going to say next. Kyle says she needs to get more of a junkie slag thing going on. Although if next week is "love ballads" night that might not work quite so well. Holden says he's on Planet Disney watching Snow White go to rehab, which makes everyone think maybe HE'S the one who needs to be checking in. Dicko says the way Natalie sang that song he expected to see the solid gold dancers pop out behind her and dance with giant hypodermic needles - Amy Winehouse take note! This would make a top video. He also berates her for the "poor taste" in choosing the song (Amy ain't going to rehab, she's going to the funeral parlour), to which Natalie responds by doing an impression of Miss Teen South Carolina.

She doesn't start with the infamous "I personally believe" but she does manage to wank on for about two minutes about how Rehab isn't just about rehab, but about music and the power of music and how music is the way, and the power of music can lift you up and... er... um... music?

The first tumbleweed does a U-turn and comes back across the stage.

Finally, we end the show with a little bit of Matt "So I'm hot, that doesn't exempt me from getting my hair cut and wearing normal clothes" Corby who has donned his best David Jones' houndstooth silk dressing gown to sing The Verve's Bittersweet Symphony. Well, if you're going to roll out of bed and straight onto the stage you might as well wear STYLISH sleepwear.

Surprise, surprise, he does a good job. Again. It's actually almost getting boring how consistently good Matt is. It does seem somewhat unfair to criticise someone for being consistently excellent, but I'm going to do it anyway. Hey, no one's perfect. Except for Matt. Which is precisely why I'm criticising him.

Kyle says they need to put a warning on the screen before Matt comes on so girls don't smash their faces against their TVs. I'd laugh at this hilarious joke, but I'm too busy nursing my jaw from where I smacked it into the TV set. Holden gives him a touchdown. Yay. Dicko goes for the hat trick of same comments and once again mentions ticks in boxes. At this rate they're going to have to get in a pest removal guy, or everyone's going to end up with lyme disease. Marcia says something about either a) being true to yourself, b) telling a story through song or c) mm-hmm girlfriend.

And thus ends Shitpop night. Stay tuned for Monday night's results update.

PS: Dicko, my word challenge from earlier today still stands. Make it glossy, come awwwn!

MONDAY NIGHT'S UPDATE: Bloody hell, are we already at the Opera House? No, we're only up to week eight, not that you'd know it from the way Jacob Butler stank up the joint when he was booted from the show tonight. Le Butler pulled out more ham than a butcher's shop to serenade the crowd with Let It Be one more time (thanks, like we ever wanted to hear THAT again) - wandering through the audience, other Idols and judges and touching people like he was Jesus coming back for seconds. To use a Dickoism: "It was totally NOBLIKE". Over and out.


  1. Exact same reaction I had to Natalie's performance. It was like a kindergarten teacher singing about ecstasy-induced comas.

  2. Great recap. Tibetan Buddhist Chant Night, now I'd like to see that. Tarisai sure belted out that song, her voice cracking everywhere. I thought her head was going to explode! I can't believe Mark gave her a touchdown for that crap, it was a good performance but pity about the singing.

  3. Never thought I'd be agreeing with Monkey Boy about anything, but I sure did last night. Am I the only one who feels the need to leave the room when Tarasai sings - I always seem to need a drink or something. I could give 2 fat rats about her really.

  4. I'm still confused how it was 'in bad taste' for Natalie to sing Wine-o-House, just because she is in rehab or currently injecting heroin. Someone sang Oasis, FFS.

  5. yeah...the whole bad taste thing was crap.

    It was like saying, "Freddie Mercury had AIDS. Singing a Queen song is in poor taste." Like, what does that have to do with it?

  6. I did actually fall asleep during Daniel's song and woke up half way through Natalie's.

  7. I couldn't believe so many people could get 'britpop' so wrong. A Spice Girls number would have been more at home in that lot of songs. They should have made them all do Paul Weller numbers, just to get the ethos of the thing right.

    And I'm a pretty big Beatles fan but Let it Be is a fucking gospel song!

    And what's with Ben's strange vowel pronunciations: "you're gonna be the one that sayves may...?"
    It was even worse when he did Hide and Seek with his "drayms and sewing machaynes".

    Speaking of vowel pronunciations. I so hope Marty doesn't get voted off because I just love Marcia's endearing Bostonian accent when she says his name: "Oh, Mahhty, it's me Mahhsha talking. I thought you were fahh bettah this week. How did you get here tonight? Did you come in your cahhh?

    Really, it's the only reason I watch at all.

  8. Would have been nice to see Ben do Blur's Boys & Girls.

  9. just stumbled across your blog...that jacob deserves to be shot for what he did to "let it be" and isn't britpop mid 90's alternative music like blur? good review of the night though

  10. i cannot stand Tarasai - and yes I leave the room and mute the tv. Power house of voice she has - pity she doesn't know how to use it. It's always bland, bland, bland...

  11. Tiffany (ex Adelaide)October 08, 2007 4:51 pm

    I just heard you on Nova here in Brisbane, chatting with Dicko and Mark Holden. I stopped by to have a look as you sounded funny (not literally! LOL)and I have read your entire Blog through from finish to start (or top to bottom). Guess I should have started the other way around, but who made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the afternoon of entertainment and a damned good excuse not to have unstacked and restacked the dishwasher!

  12. I just heard you on Nova as well and started yelling at anyone in the house that would listen that I read Bland Canyon all the time - unfortunately noone cared, but what an awesome re-cap of Britpop night!! haha how funny is it that the Idol's read this too *cue awkward silences if you ever meet them*

  13. yeah i don't wanna sound as repetative as Kyle when he comments on Ben's performances, but i heard ya on Nova too and thought i'd check it out

    and god did i laugh....just when i thought other couldnt take the piss out of idol anymore, you go and produce one of the web's best sites (yes even better than YouTube)
    but seriously,your blog is awesome...defently gonna be back here every monday!

  14. aw, our litle petstarr is a star interstate.

    and to think, little ol adelaide

    i'm so proud *sniff* *sniff*

    knew her when she was knee high to a grasshopper...

    ok ok, so i've never met her. but i want to. and i've always wanted to. as the little lemur in madagascar says 'even before we knew them i liked them'

  15. Loved your wrap of last night's Idol. I think the true Queen of Shitpop has to be Natalie with that diabolical version of Amy Winehouse' Rehab. I personally believe that we will all need major therapy to rid us of the image of her clear eyes, blemish free skin and perfect smile whilst singing about "being black...and coming back". Avert your eyes people!

  16. I smell a conspiracy. Jacob probably wanted to do all those Britpop songs but was told not to by whoever recommends their song choices (if they exist) due to unfair advantage over other contestants. Either way I knew he wouldn't sing a Britpop song on a Britpop night.

  17. Thanks for the blog -- very amusing and well-written. It's rare to find a decent writer out there! I think after your Nova interview and props from Dicko, your readership has just increased!

    Don't 100% agree with your comments about Matt though. Yes, he's got the raw musical ability and he's got some spark, but by no means is he perfect. He's got other weaknesses besides being perfect.

    IDENTIFYING WITH SONG LYRICS: The judges go on and on about this (think Tarasai - 'hot to handle'). If it's really such a big deal to sing something you can personally identify with, then I think it would be fair to say that Matt and Bittersweet Symphony were a poor match. Sure, he seems to be above average in terms of maturity for 16, but in terms of life experience and identifying with the lyrics of that song.... uh-uh. Don't think so.

    LOOKS STAKES: he REALLY as good looking as everyone says? The reflexive response is YES, but on closer scrutiny... NO. Harsh to say, but he somewhat resembles a caveman. I just don't get the excitement over his looks, and his dress sense leaves me incredulous. Skin-tight pants/jeans/anything on guys looks plain feral. And you're right, what was with the DJs jacket?! That was something I wouldn't pay 50 cents for even if it were identified as vintage Chanel.

    Natural ability he obviously has, without a doubt.
    Drop dead gorgeous looks? 10% above average at best (so a 6 out of 10 at most).

    Yet in a singing competition where your good looks can help get you votes, he's GONNA WIN. (Although hang on, Irishman from last year wasn't exactly eye candy...)

    Speaking of Damien Leith from last year, can you please do a post on him -- I liked him last year and always said I'd pay money to see him live, but after hearing his two latest singles I've changed my mind. Boring to schnoring? Would like to hear your opinion on this.


  18. Aw, little old me in Perth, didn't hear you on the radio

    We don't even get radio in Perth

    Or television

    Or the internet

    Loved the recap
    What's the point of sitting through crappy Idol when I can just read this amusing blog?

  19. Ma haaaaa! Heard you on NOVA - and found myself laughing out loud so tracked my way to your blog. Now it's on my favourites and i'll be back every week. Brilliant.

  20. Oh My God. I can't believe you are getting famous! HILARIOUS! You really are responsible for the "BIG SICKO FROM DICKO" (copyright it now- touchdown is so season 3...) I've been reading your blog for the past 4 weeks. It makes me laugh out loud every time.
    I do think you are a bit tough on Dan (aka Scarf Guy or Werewolf Le Scarf- GOLD!). He is beautiful and he has the charisma needed to be a genuine star (unlike Natalie the librarian or Ben the annoying kid on the train who would always talk too loud with his school mates). Just my humble opinon though.

    Keep on doing your thing! Don't let the fame change you!! (NOTE: Dean Geyer who swore he would never date a skank or appear on Neighbours... my my how things change)

  21. At least it wasn't Britneypop night I suppose

  22. PetStarr, you are FAMOUS petal. And rightly so. We've been snorting over your Idol anecdotes since last year, and I'm chuffed you're finally getting the recognition you deserve.

    Props, lots of props. I think Idol should have a guest judge, like they do on ANTM, and yes, the judge should be you.

    All good things aside though, I am boycotting Matt Corby's Idol victory simply because of the fugliness of his hair and wardrobe. What the fuck is that boy thinking? Every time I see him, I feel like slapping him upside his head.

    At least Werewolf la Scarf's hair (both on his head AND chest) is amusing to look at..

  23. Again you're blinded to the averageness of Matt Corby - whose version of 'Bittersweet Symphony' would have looked ludicrous if it hadn't come after that vile raping of 'Rehab'.

    Ben's version of 'Wonderwall' was lovely... if he looked like Matt you'd say so too, vile harpy!

    On the bright side: "The only substance I could possibly see Natalie Gauchi going to rehab for abusing is Berocca. And maybe Equal."

    So I still love you. Just.

  24. To everyone who heard me on NOVA FM: Thanks for the compliments, and for stopping by in the first place! I had over 1000 hits in the afternoon following that on air segment, so I really appreciate you all coming to check me out. I hope you all come back next Monday for my next Idol wrap up!

    thisisme - You're not alone. I feel that way about Tarama as well. Not the dip though, which is my desert island dip (should I ever get stuck on a desert island and be offered one dip to eat for all eternity).

    anonymous & rural juror - I have to agree with you there, I'm not sure what Dicko was on about with his "bad taste" call. If that's the new rule however, we're obviously going to have to band all Michael Jackson songs and anything by Pete Doherty. Ha! Can you imagine Marty doing Babyshambles? Rock on!

    drew - I agree with everything you've said. Especially the bit about "Mahhhty".

    glenn - Bloody good suggestion. Speaking of suggestions, I hope that this week fo the "year you were born", Matt Corby does 'Come As You Are'. I think I've got my maths right on that one...? It'd be a cracker.

    carol m - Thanks for stopping in! And yes, Britpop is like Blur. God knows how all those random songs slipped through.

    And to all you Matt Corby bashers - You're just jealous. What do you mean that's a crap defence? That's what people write about ME on here when they think I'm wrong. At any rate, I concede that the boy needs a) a personality and b) a haircut. Maybe he'll acquire both by Sunday night. We shall see.

  25. Please review the definition of 'britpop' - That show the other night had nothing to do with 'britpop' - it was simply music from british artists.

  26. Hahhaha.
    This blog is very fine work. Petstarr you are indeed fluent in sarcasm. But now'll I'll have to watch Idol every week to better understand your blog. So will others ie you're increasing the ratings for Idol. I don't know if you're good or evil...probably evil.

  27. You and your feng shui clapping. Squinty laughing.

  28. Fabulous wrap-up of a truly disgraceful "Brit-pop" evening. Where was Blur? Supergrass? Any other Oasis song bar "Wonderwall"? What about The Verve? Oh that's right, a teenager with lovely blue eyes did a rendition of "Bittersweet Symphony". This kind of beige performance may perhaps end up on a future ad for Volvo, SAAB, Audi or some other posh car brand. As for the dire rendition of "Rehab" and Tarisai's "Is this New Faces?" rendition of Queen... I think I need a good cup of tea and a lie down.

  29. p.s. on the whole good vs evil front, I watch snippets of every performance on youtube as I read your blog (so I always have to wait till late in the week). Cause I'm SUCH A NANA I DON"T WATCH TELEVISION because the ads are too loud and there's too much sex, swearing and violence.

  30. quietly autisticOctober 13, 2007 1:19 pm

    Hmm...good idea Penni! I think I'll do that. The ads ABSOLUTELY FRICKIN' KILL ME when I watch that show. But they're also like a 'where are they now' of past Idol contestants, which is kinda entertaining but sad at the same time.