Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Australian Idol 07 wrap up: Swing Night RESULTS

I was planning to sneakily skip writing about Monday night's results show, as I (believe it or not) didn't watch it. Such was my confidence in Marty being voted off that I decided to forego my Monday night Idol ritual in favour of attending the premiere of the new Elizabeth film with Cate Blanchett. Ok, I didn't GO with Cate Blanchett, I meant... never mind.

In any case, my summary of the film is thus: There is but one good reason to see it.

And yea verrily, the reason is Clive.

However it seems that you lot have been coming here in droves expecting to read a Monday night wrap up, so I've had a look at the videos on the Idol website and I must say - I'm a bit miffed I missed what appears to have been a cracker of an episode. I actually laughed out loud at least five times watching the video playback. Typical.

Anyway, in QUICKNEWS format:

  • Kyle proves Marcia and Holden aren't the only judges who can't sing by having a crack at Just a Gigolo. Resident cowboy Dicko strengthens his resolve to do Achy Breaky Heart next week.

  • Actually, if i'm being honest, Kyle was probably better than half of the top 24.

  • He was at least better than Brianna Carpenter.

  • There's an extended debate about Matt Corby's alien Elvis/Hasidic Jew hairstyle, in which Dicko declares Matt to look like his aunty Brenda, and Dicko's daughter Edie declares Dicko to be jealous, which leads to this hilarious bit of Photoshopping:

    So hot right now.

  • The Idols visit some school somewhere, and predictably enough sing Robbie & Kylie's Kids, despite several of them still actually being in school themselves.

  • There's a tragic group performance of I Saw Her Standing There - SWING STYLE! Cos you can never have enough swing. Actually yes, yes you can. And we have. So has Marty it seems, who barely makes it through the one line he has to sing.

  • There's a particularly weird moment when Natalie spontaneously changes the lyrics to "And my heart went boom when I saw that room" - is IKEA sponsoring this bit then?

  • Carl and Marty hit the bottom two, OH MY GOD, NOT ON SWING NIGHT, NOT CARL! But not to worry, it's Marty's time to get the boot. AND NOT BEFORE TIME EITHER.

  • Everyone looks shocked - SHOCKED THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN WEEKS AGO.


And there you have it kids. Aggro Q. Eyebrows is gone - who will be next on the chopping block? Most are calling a Mattalie final, but I wouldn't quite discount Mr Schwing yet...


  1. I missed the show on Sunday night due to a HDD programming error (actually a programmer error but I prefer to blame the machine.) As it was Bor-swing night I didn't lose any sleep over it and knew that I'd have your wonderful wrap up to read in the morning - obviously more entertaining than watching the show itself!

    I'm disappointed in the talent this year... I haven't seen any outstanding performances that make me get tingles down my spine like in previous years. I don't know where Holden is getting his Touchdown tingles from, maybe he has a quota to fill before the end of the series? Or are the judges watching a completely different show than the rest of Australia? I can't work it out.

    My favourite, Holly, was the first to get booted... now I don't care who wins (as long as it's not Carl!)

  2. a) Clive Owen is the current titleholder for Man Most Wanted Under My Doona.

    b) Pop on over to my blog for the latest bum-shot, missus.

  3. All these people were trying to win cash on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire 'accidently' voted for Carl (like all the American ships 'accidently' leaving Bali before the bombing). This is the worst conspiracy since the sacking of the Whitlam government. Postpone the election and call a royal commision NOW

  4. All these people were trying to win cash on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire 'accidently' voted for Carl (like all the American ships 'accidently' leaving Bali before the bombing). This is the worst conspiracy since the sacking of the Whitlam government. Postpone the election and call a royal commision NOW

  5. Thanks for the update PetStarr! We did TOTALLY miss you so don't even think about missing a second of Idol for the rest of the season. GOT IT?? Haha. It wouldn't be the same without you! In fact I am kinda sad Idol is finishing because I won't get my weekly fix of laughs... your blog is all that gets me through Monday morning at work!!! Monday night was actually pretty funny- bummer for you you missed it, but seems you got the good moments... Marty (not) singing/dancing in the group song, and Kyle doing his performance (I also was kind fo shocked that he was sort of decent? alternate universe experience there...).

    PS. do you ever need an excuse to put a pic of beautiful Clive on your blog? I say that should be a regular fixture!!! LOVE IT (him).

  6. Man - Idol is so not boring this year. Even the very WORST Idol (hi Marty!!) had a great voice, hilarious eyebrows, and was sweetly self deprecating...and the SECOND WORST Idol (hi Carl!!) has provided guy-candy all season and has proved, unbelievably, to be quite entertaining.

    I would even go so far as to say that the judges have been pretty fucking funny - even MARK FUCKING BATBAGS HOLDEN has come up with the occasional good line.

    ADD TO THAT the adorable and talented Gauci lady and little Jailbait Corby keepin us amused with all variety of crazyass outfits + awesome voices.

    I mean seriously, kids: WHAT MORE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT??

    xoxo nora

  7. Petstarr

    slightly off topic, but a request... don't be too "mean" about the audience choice winners this year, as I'm one of the 3 winners going to Sydney, and will be on the show for my 30 seconds of fame.... I was reading what you wrote about the audience nominees last season on your blog (very, very funny), so I hope you'll be a little "kinder". And no, I'm not telling you which finalist has chosen my song so you won't know who posted this!! But I am looking forward to your blog Monday, very much (plus the trip, I can't believe I won it, it's very surreal at the moment)...

  8. Anonymous - Did I? I don't remember writing anything about any audience nominees... Sure you're not referring to Raoul Duke or Redcap, who took turns doing the Idol recaps while I was in America last year? I take no responsibility for their meanness (but I highly encourage it). As for you - congrats on winning! Wish I was going to the Opera House. Dicko? Wanna help a sister out?

  9. maybe it was Raoul who was the very witty one!! He too has a natural talent at writing, it is on your blog and very funny reading!

    anyway, as usual, looking forward to your blog, always the best, funniest read of the week!!

    And lets see if you guess which one of the 3 winners at the show this Sunday if your blog fan / reader!!

  10. Holly was awesome. Ashame she was the 1st to go.

    Marcia fought like never before for her choices at the wildcard and congratulate her that both of her choices are in the top 2.

    Marty came 10th, so he really have 9 lives :D

  11. The thought of the iDulls having Ikea as a sponsor is somewhat tantalising. Imagine if they had to built a flatpack furniture item while singing a swinged up rock tune with their eyes closed (Matt Jailbait Corby style). It would truly bring a new dimension to the show.

    "The notes were in the pocket, but you weren't very confident handling the alum key. It wasn't in the socket."

    So glad Marty is gone. He can go back to chillin' on the coast instead of chillin' on our screens when he is supposed to be entertainin'.

  12. Is that a healing black eye I see in the picture of Dicko? (Of course, I'm sure a few people would be lining up.)

    I think IKEA sponsoring Idol is very serendipitous. Because unlike, you see, your fully formed and rounded pub singer/songwriter w/ own band who has been around the block a few times, these guys come fairly flat and ready to bolt together in the way the judges decide. Or maybe not.

  13. The one to build a table/chair/bed/lampstand from Ikea the fastest, and stand on it, while they sing their grand finale masterpiece should be the way they choose the overall winner. They could all start at the same time and then all start singing when they finish building and mount the object.. t'would be a grand cacophony of sound, until one of the shoddily made contraptions suddenly breaks and the idol falls flat on their backside.. sort of a metaphor for the whole series..

    "Ready, Set... Build!"

  14. Oh, Clive. ~smiles dippily~ I've had that movie flyer on my desk for two weeks now. Clive is My Preferred Crumpet and as such has dibs on parking his boots under my bed any time he pleases. Even adorable hotpants-wearing Butch would have no chance against Clive.