So I just finished watching an EXTREMELY SHOCKING report that EVERY PARENT SHOULD SEE on that bastion of journalistic integrity, A Current Affair, and thought it deserved a mention here.
If you can be bothered, you can watch the report here:
Computer game outrage
But basically the gist of it is this:
- Young boy goes to school.
- Young boy's mate shows him a slightly rude Flash game on the internet in the computer labs at lunch.
- Both boys think they, and it, are mutually hilarious.
- Boy goes home, gets on internet, plays hilarious game again.
- Boy's mother freaks the fuck out, calls A Current Affair.
Of course there's much gnashing of teeth and hysterical cries of "CHILD PORNOGRAPHY" and "OUR YOUNG MINDS ARE BEING CORRUPTED" and "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN AT A SCHOOL?" etc. etc. and calls to hang the Principal up by the bollocks and all that sort of thing.
So what exactly is this X RATED GAME that's caused such an uproar to warrant a five minute report on national television?
Well, it's called Butt Hunter, and it's a cartoonish shoot-em-up game in which you roam a forest shooting naked men hiding in the bushes (which, strangely enough, is an activity most ACA watchers would usually support). Obviously this already sounds SERIOUS enough, but wait: If you miss one, and they catch you, they give you a good old rogering, cartoon style.
Not convinced? SEE THE HORROR FOR YOURSELF HERE.
My favourite part of the ACA "report" was when they showed a blurred-out screen grab from the game, and said ominously: "The animation of this CRIMINAL ACT is SO SICKENINGLY GRAPHIC we could never show you in this story. The main objective? PREYING ON LITTLE BOYS."
Fortunately here in the BC I'm not bound by such censorship, and I CAN show you:
What's that? Whaddya MEAN you coudn't see the X RATED, FULLY HARDCORE PORNOGRAPHIC ACTION? Try this:
Onya ACA. Even with the advantages of full colour and fluid movement this game is about as sexually explicit as Leisure Suit Larry.
Wait until some schoolkid logs on to Two Girls One Cup, ACA will dedicate their entire show to it. We hope.