Thursday, November 01, 2007

Pointless television shows #224: 'Friday Night Download'

"Hey boss, we need to do something about our Friday night program line-up. It's just not attracting that lucrative youth demographic anymore."

"Hmm, I suppose all the young people go out on Friday nights and play Twister or knucklebones, do they? Hmmm. Well, what do young people LIKE?"

"Twister? Knucklebones?"

"No no, we need something MODERN and EXCITING. Come on, think!"

"Erm... the internet?"

"GREAT IDEA! Take all the cool videos off the internet that everyone's seen a million times already because people keep forwarding them the same fucking emails at work, and patch them together into a show. Then get three totally inane people to host it and throw in some canned laughter. RIPPER! I'm off to play Twister."

And thus Friday Night Download was born.

Did it ever occur to Channel 10 that the only people sitting around at home at 7.30 on a Friday night are a) old people, who can't stand Fitzy's dreadful accent or Bree's hyper enthusiasm and who certainly don't give a shit about the internet, and b) nerds with no lives who spend all their time on the internet and thus have already seen all these videos anyway?

These are some of the HILARIOUS, WACKY, TOTALLY CRAZY internet vids they showed off on the first episode. Hands up who HASN'T yet seen:

  • The folding Bangkok market on the train tracks


  • The Dove viral campaign


  • The Dove viral campaign parody


  • That Japanese toilet training video


  • That guy catching his sunglasses on his face


  • Little Superstar


EXCUSE ME, BUT IF I WANTED TO SEE A VIDEO OF A BREAKDANCING INDIAN MIDGET I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN IN A TIME MACHINE AND GONE BACK TO BLAND CANYON A WHOLE FRICKIN YEAR AGO.


THEY HAVE VIDEO ON THE INTERNET NOW? Oh hang on, of course they do. Actually, some of those videos have been forwarded to me even more times than this fucking "surprised monkey" photo.


They even showed the Chris Crocker Britney Spears video - I mean COME ON! Even my grandpa's seen that one, and he still uses dialup.

It's likely this show is going to go gentle into that good night and no one will even notice, but I propose that if they're going to get axed, they might as well go out with a bang and show the video from two girls one cup dot com.*

*PetStarr recommends you never, under any circumstances, visit this site ever, ever, EVER. And if you must, CERTAINLY not at work. Or on a full stomach.



13 comments :

  1. I'm glad you bit the bullet and watched it. I just didn't have the strength. I raised my hand for every single one of those. Aaargh.

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  2. Thank God I have Foxtel when I want a quiet Friday night. Which is often. Thanks for taking one for the troops by watching this PetStarr.

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  3. Gah I watched 5 minutes before my eyes melted and my head exploded from sheer boredom. They might as well have plonked a list of URLs on the screen and had the three morons ride little bikes around in clown costumes for half an hour (or however long the show is). Now that would probably be more entertaining.

    Their inane commentary of u-tube video is absolutely pointless. Not even as good as funniest home videos and that is surely crap.

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  4. I will never forgive you for telling me about that other thing. Never.

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  5. Well I DID say to never EVER go there!

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  6. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I'm never eating anything brown AGAIN.

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  7. The three drones fronting this hideous live Channel 10 programming department confession that they've just given up and will happily just live off the ratings from running The Simpsons means it was instantly vetoed in this house.
    So, in a weird moment when I really did morph into my mother I have banned it. Like she did to me with Mother & Son, something I will never understand as Geoffrey Atherden is a national treasure and I heart his writing so much it hurts I will never even come close. But now you've caught me monologuing.

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  8. I couldn't bring myself to watch this. The ads alone were enough to throw me into a rage about the Australian media refusing to produce fresh content...

    Plus I thought those buffoons were off our screen for another year now that big brother is finished for '07. Ugh.

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  9. Fucking fuck fuck.

    I went there. I stopped at the initial shit spray, but that was scarring enough...

    motherfucker.

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  10. 1) What kind of crazy stuff did that person eat?

    2) When can I expect the nightmares to end?

    *retch*

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  11. Saw the ads and that was enough for me.
    The "Seriously. Ten." Promo has just become rather ironic. They need to put a question mark after the seriously bit.

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  12. Just another sign of the decline of western civilisation. There is nothing worth watching on TV any bloody night of the week since they took off Iron Chef again. C*nts.

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  13. Aaaaah, jeez. I really used to enjoy the chocolate sno-freeze from Maccas. But on the upside, I now have means of revenge on the sicko who forwarded me the Goatse marathon... "check out this cute video of pony's and bunnies, it's really funny!"
    Looking forward to your sum up of tonights Big Band episode and the dismal dismalness that is Marty. Cheers!!

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