Sunday, September 14, 2008

Australian Idol 08 Wrap Up: Ep 1 - Idol's Idol

DNN-NN NN-NAO NN-NAO NNN-NAO NNN-NAO, DNNN-NN NN-NAO NN-NAO, NNNNNNAAAAAOOOOO HAA, HAA, HAAAAA, OOOO-WOAAHHH-OOH-WOAAAH....

Did you get that, kids? IT'S THE OPENING THEME TO AUSTRALIAN IDOL OF COURSE, and AREN'T WE JUST SO EXCITED? After two weeks of 24 hour a day Idol MAYHEM (well, it felt like it was on 24 hours a day, didn't it? I kept waiting for "Australian Idol UP LATE" to come on) we're finally at the pointy end of the competition. Well, at least, it's the base of the pointy end of the competition. Which kind of makes it the flat end.

IT'S THE FLAT END OF AUSTRALIAN IDOL, WOO! CAN YOU FEEL IT?

But in true Andrew G style, I'll say right now that the performances are going to be anything BUT flat this evening, ladies and gentlemen. Unlike his hair, which I suspect he may have stolen from a 1970s knitting pattern model. Welcome back, Ken Doll!

And a hearty welcome back to Jimmy James "Monkey Boy" Mathison too who, I recently discovered, is a lot smaller than you may think. NOT IN THAT WAY, you dirty perverts! I mean slight. Slim. Lithe. Were he to grow his hair out and throw on some purple velvet, he'd be a dead ringer for Prince. I pray and hope that crazy Idol stylist Sheridan Tyler is back on board this year, as that would increase the likelihood of a purple velvet suit appearing on stage by at least 70%.

Moving on to newcomer Ricki Lee, who tonight has been dressed by Happy Fashions in Wingfield, and looks a little bit like the result of a mirrorball and your nan's curtains having sex.

Fortunately, the judges are playing it safe tonight in suits and a monochromatic palette, although the ghost of Holden is hovering over the top of them all in a leather jacket and red braces, sizzling everyone's shemizzle.

Hosts? Check. Irrelevant and slightly irritating and yet somehow still thoroughly likeable third host? Check. Three judges? Check. Ghost of recently exorcised fourth judge? Check. LET'S GET THIS SHIZZLE SHEMIZZLING!

First up tonight is ADELAIDE'S OWN Wes Carr, who looks rather like the messiah, were he to have just stepped out of a beauty salon. What with the newly trimmed beard and the gorgeous golden locks cascading over his shoulders, he's like a walking Pantene ad. Hello, Pantene Jesus!

But what's that on his head? Is it... a metallic hat? No really, is it? Did he get it in a showbag? Whatever it is, it doesn't quite go with the brown patchwork anorak he's sporting, which is the kind of garment you'd expect to see on someone who spends all their time at the train station gleefully noting down engine numbers. The overall look is something like a homeless person to whom someone has generously donated a new hat.

Then the curtains part and we get to see Pantene's package - I MEAN A VIDEO PACKAGE, YOU PERVERTS - in which his mum tells us she's "moved to tears" every time PJ sings. If he does All Along the Watchtower again I think I'll join her.

Performance time, and PJ has gone straight to the back of the arms shed and chosen the biggest gun of all, U2's Beautiful Day. ON THE PIANO. Pardon? Look, Wes is on the piano! He's not just an All Along the Watchtower playing, guitar strumming hobo, he can play the... oh, wait, he's stopped. Well that was worth it. Two bars in and he's already given up tickling the ivories in favour of jumping around and shouting "COME ON!" Well, I suppose it's got energy.

"He looks like Beck," says Raoul, my Idol sidecar for the evening. I concur.

Once all the Hillsong believers have put their crucifixes away and stopped crossing themselves in the presence of the lord, Dicko says it's a terrific start to the night, but tells Wes not to get sucked in too early by being gratuitous. Not sure what he was watching but it sounds far more exciting than what I saw. Marcia says "Happy birthday" and reaches under the desk for her medication, while Kyle says "Are we ever going to see you without a hat?", prompting the audience to yell "NO WAY, GET FUCKED, FUCK OFF!" in true Aussie pub style. Holden's ghost says "Wiggidy wack doo back dibbidy dow, shizzle."

And we're off and running... straight into an adbreak. The one with the gorilla. Honestly, the Mathison family is so full of talent, it's amazing. Seriously though, what drugs were those ad execs smoking when they came up with this shit? I bet I know how it happened:

"Hey man, this is good shit. Goooood shit."
"I know, I know, I got it off Dave, I told you he was good."
*paranoid frantic exec runs in*
"Oh shit, oh shit - guys, the Cadbury presentation? It's tomorrow!"
"Oh shit."
"Has anyone come up with anything?"
"Nah man, I thought you were doing it."
"Oh shit, OK, OK, let's keep calm. Let's just think about this."
"HEY - what about *inhales*.. get this... A GORILLA PLAYING THE DRUMS. To Phil Collins."
"...."
"That's brilliant!"
"Shouldn't we put some chocolate in it somewhere?"
"Nah, fuck that. Just the gorilla."

And so it goes. Anyway, back to the Idol-dome, where ADELAIDE'S OWN Tom Williams has obviously gotten the date wrong for next week's fancy dress party, and has turned up as Oliver Twist guest starring on Star Trek. Whoops, too late now Tom, you'll just have to go with it and pretend you meant it.

Tom's package reveals that he loves hanging out with his mates. Don't get too excited, now! We also discover that Tom had juvenile arthritis and was born in 1992.

Oh. My. God.

Surely NO ONE was born in 1992. The number one single on this day in 1992 was Jose Carreras and Sarah Brightman's "Amigos Para Siempre", so it's no wonder Tom was hooked on music from an early age, with that sort of heralding into the universe.

He's chosen Aerosmith's Don't Wanna Close My Eyes, which is ironic because the outfit he's wearing has the opposite effect on me. Under the lights Tom's Dickensian orphan in outer space costume looks rather more like a Kevlar vest, which I feel is a tad pessimistic.

For a 16 year old, he sounds OK - but I think we're all going to get sick of the "he's just 16" excuse every week. So he either better age 10 years by next week, or just be completely fault-free for the rest of the season. Not much to ask, really.

Actually, once you cut through the relentless screams of the virgins in the crowd (clearly the whole intergalactic peasant thing is hot this year), Oliver Twist really doesn't sound good at all. It's really quite distressing, like a cat being shoved into a bag full of spiders. Please sir, can we not have any more?

Raoul's verdict? "Get a haircut." I concur.

Marcia announces she's going to call him Thomas from now on. Kyle decides on Gary, while Dicko goes for Bob. I'm sticking with Oliver. Marcia says something about Thomas' innards, and double checks the dosage reccomendation on her bottle of pills. Kyle makes an incredibly crap joke using the word "armageddon", which Oliver probably doesn't get given that he was just SIX YEARS OLD when that film came out. For realsies. Dicko says he's drawn to big monsters but wants to get more uptempo, or something like that. Then he tells Oliver it looks like his mum dressed him. IF HIS MUM IS CAPTAIN KIRK, sure. The ghost of Holden says "Ooogeddy boogeddy boo. Swizzle."

"He's dressed like a poofter," remarks Sooty, my second Idol sidecar for the evening. I'm not sure I concur.

Moving on to Roshani "Sexual Chocolate" Priddis. We're all told for about the five millionth time that Roshani was born in Sri Lanka and is adopted, and grew up in Tamworth... WE KNOW, WE KNOW, WE KNOW! We see some footage of her singing with a band inside a cool room - presumably because Roshani is so HOT. Ow!

She's chosen Joss Stone's Tell Me About It, which I've never heard before in my life but WHO CARES because she looks hot to frickin' trot in a biker jacket, tight jeans and punk hairdo, yelling that she wants to do it two times a day and WE WANT TO GIVE IT TO YOU ROSHANI, OH YEAH! She's got a little frown on her face like she's telling us all off, and may possibly punch us if we don't GIVE IT TO HER TWICE, YEEAOOOW! Thank god the girl has dropped the diva songs and found the funk, this is completely awesome.

Marcia kicks off with one of her famous pointless comments, by saying congratulations. Kyle says Roshani was slamming all the way through the song, prompting Raoul to pipe up "I didn't see that!" Dicko says it was perfect and fabulous, and the ghost of Holden finishes off the love fest with a "Bing, bang boom! Ya-wizzle!"

Next up is Teale Jakubenko, otherwise known as one of those blokes wot was in East 17 and that. Teale is unwittingly going to attract 90% of the bogan vote from South Australia, given that he's from Yatala (no word on whether he was cellmates with David Hicks or not), and his name is one of the Port Power team colours. If he turns up in uggies next week and sings Khe Sanh he's got it in the bag. His interests include playing golf, rugby and shaving his beard into an L shape.

Teale announces that love "makes him tick", and that his personal idol is Rick Price. Should we be worried yet?

Predictably enough he's chosen a Rick Price song, Walk Away Renee. I am bored already.

"Throw on some Kappa pants and give him a rat's tail and he'd look like a kickboxer," muses Raoul. I concur.

Kyle says something about undies and tripping. Perhaps he's taken some of what Marcia's on. Dicko asks Teale what sort of artist he's going to become, to which Raoul shouts from the couch "A BULLSHIT ARTIST!" Dicko tells Teale it's a big space and he needs to fill it - Chrislyn should take care of that, surely? Marcia says he has to stand still while singing songs like that, so Teale did a great job. Of standing still. Good-o. The ghost of Holden moans and rattles his chains.

Suddenly all the Idols are involved in a high-tech group orgy, which turns out to be an ad for Sony Ericsson mobile phones. One of them rings and it sounds remarkably like Tom Williams.

Moving right along to Sophie Paterson, who moved to London several years ago to become a famous musician but ended up just dyeing her hair and perfecting her "drunken office party karaoke slur", which she now uses to dress every song.

She's chosen Counting Crows' Mr Jones. Point of interest: when this song first came out I thought it was about a Chinese businessman called Mr Chungami. "Mr Chungami, stares at the beautiful women..." Anyway.

Speaking of Chinese businessmen, IS SOPHIE PREGNANT? No, it's just that FUCKING UGLY SKIRT she's wearing. Seriously, if you're as thin and cute as Sophie, and a skirt manages to make you look pregnant, you should TAKE IT OUTSIDE AND BURN IT, BURN IT GOOD, AND DANCE AROUND THE FLAMES PERIODICALLY SPRAYING KEROSENE ON THE FIERY MASS. Possibly while singing Counting Crows.

So far I've been on the fence about Miss Paterson - looks like Brigitte Bardot, but sounds REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING. Honestly, I can't stand that slurring way she sings. It's not just her either, this "slack moll slurring" (as Raoul puts it) is an epidemic in modern music. Lisa Mitchell (aka Shuffles McBalletflats) was famous for it in Idol 2006, and Sarah Blasko's not immune, either. Can't we take all these birds to June Dally Watkins and make them prance around the room with books on their heads and marbles in their mouths, singing "The rain in spain falls mainly on the plain" until they learn? Come to think of it, if Sophie does that next week I reckon she'd do better than this performance. It'd be kind of Bobby Flynn-esque.

"You can imagine dogs barking at that," sniffs Raoul in between mouthfuls of pad thai.

"I would actually pay money to never listen to her sing again," pipes up Sooty. I concur.

Dicko has obviously been rifling through Marcia's medicine cupboard during the adbreak, as he blames Sophie's "big teeth" for her strange anunciation. What. The. Fuck? She's not Cletus the slack-jawed yokel, Dicko! Marcia does her usual thing of seeming to contradict what Dicko has just said but actually reiterate it at the same time by saying if that's the way Sophie sings it's her damn choice, but she needs to articulate her words more clearly. Kyle says Sophie has a smashing body, but she looks a little underdone. By about 6 months I reckon, going by that skirt. The ghost of Holden says "Yowza wowza hoo mama!"

Moving on to Luke Dickens, the grouse Aussie shearer, who's either the underdog or thebest thing since the Royal Flying Doctor Service, depending on your proximity to the coast.

Ricki Lee interviews him and he tells a scintillating story about someone cooking him dinner. Luckily she has next to no idea about microphone technique, so we get to miss half of his responses to her boring questions.

"He looks a bit Lemony Snickett," murmurs a pile of old blankets in the corner. On closer inspection, it's my third Idol sidecar for the evening, The Scientist. He's a man of few words, The Scientist, but they're all very carefully measured ones.

Personally I think Luke looks more like one of the members of System of a Down - I pray he'll do a bit of Toxicity and freak Tom Williams out. Run, Oliver, run! His crazy goatee beard makes it look as though his chin is on fire. Or as though a small woodland animal has attached itself to his face. Neither of which are very desirable states of being. The thing is, there's no doubting that Luke is a big old bogan, but there's not much you can do with his look - shave off the goatee and the sidies, and you've got Australia's Most Wanted. Maybe some purple velvet would help, Sheridan?

He does Joe Cocker's Feelin Alright, and you know what? He's pretty good. Really, very god. I'd quite enjoy this if I was at a pub with a few pints in me. I might even dance. Yeah, rock on Luke. It's such a standard, passable performance I'm forced to look to the backing singers for comedy support. They all look so fricking happy.

"They're not getting booted off the show, that's why," snipes Raoul.

"We've got a job next week - woo, hoo!" he sings along.

Marcia announces that Luke is white, which clears up any confusion there may have been in the audience previously. Kyle says he owns the stage, so could Luke please get the fuck off it before he scratches it, and Dicko says his performance made the judges dance with joy. Wish they caught THAT on camera. The ghost of Holden pulls off his mask and reveals he's actually Old Man Withers from the haunted amusement park.

Moving on to Brooke "Who?" Addamo. Every Idol season has to have its older-than-her-years schoolgirl, and this year it's Brooke. She's very pretty, she's very nice, and she likes performing in school musicals and having sleepovers with her friends in which (if her video package is to be believed) they spray whipped cream on each other and hit each other with pillows. Meanwhile, middle aged men all over Australia are making excuses to leave the room for a few minutes.

But here's the deal. I think Brooke has got an amazing voice. In fact, I think she's one of the best in the competition. But I'll be jiggered if I can remember the girl's face. I have a similar problem with Naomi Watts - pretty, talented, constantly in the public eye, and yet I just can't cement them in my brain. I saw Naomi on the cover of a magazine at the hairdresser the other day and thought "How nice that they're starting to use models again instead of celebrities!"

Anyway, Brooke is doing Natasha Bedingfield's These Words, which makes a nice change from the Jewel/Coldplay megamix she's been rocking up until now. She sounds AMAZING. Except when she says "hyper-bowl" instaed of "hyperbole". I mean, I know Natasha says that in the original song, but do we have to perpetuate stupidity?

All three judges hook themselves up the communal bong and sing the "We've seen you do better" anthem, despite the fact that Brooke has actually never sounded better. The ghost of Holden, who is himself already a puff of smoke, says nothing, as he's still busy fighting off Scooby Doo and Shaggy.

Next up is Thanh Bui, otherwise known as the Asian John Farnham for his peculiar ability to make any song sound like Burn For You. Rumour has it that Thanh has actually been filling in for Whispering Jack ever since the last "farewell tour" announcement in 2003.

He's chosen Maroon 5's This Love. Not that you'd know it, as he's tricked out the arrangement to make it sound like an obscure dance track from 1995. It sounds like shit, but it goes curiously well with his weird-ass vest/chain/shirt combo.

"This is soft," barks Raoul.

"These people are just so pathetic," scowls Sooty.

"And the worst thing is, the judges are going to say that was great cos they're all on fucking drugs today," she continues.

Strangely, she's wrong. Kyle says it was like something out of an Adam Sandler comedy film, and then says it was the Idol version of "blue steel". So actually maybe it was like something out of a Ben Stiller film. Maybe it was out of a Chevy Chase film? National Lampoons go to Crapsville?

Thanh fights back by claiming he wanted to give the audience something they'd never seen before. There's a reason why we haven't seen it, Thanh.

Dicko says it was overcomplicated, and Marcia asks him to pull it out and show everybody. Which, I think, is the first time in BC Idol blogging history that Marcia has ever achieved QUOTE OF THE WEEK! Congratulations, Marcia! Former QOTW winner, the ghost of Holden, grumps off into a corner.

Thanh spends the next two minutes ensuring he'll be kicked off tomorrow night by whingeing about how he's an artist and no one understands him, etc. etc. So I guess this is his farewell performance?

Moving right along to Madam Parker, the finalist with the name for the job but not the personality. With her shy demeanour and massive earrings, I'm wondering if Emily and Lavina Williams have a long lost sister they never knew about. I keep waiting for Jack Thompson to pop out and reunite them all.

Anyway, Madam apparently moved from New Zealand to Australia to "make a better life" for her and her child. This angers Sooty, who screams "She's acting as if New Zealand is a fucking savage outpost!" She has a point. I mean, what did she do when she arrived in Sydney? "What be those horseless, metallic chariots? And what be this light that comes from a globe when all else around be dark? Ooh Australia be a far advanced land, for certain!"

So anyway, she's doing some song about not being able to stop. I don't know what though. Bowel movements, possibly, given that she's spending most of her dance routine squatting and straining. She looks cool though, in cut off leather gloves, tight black jeans and a choker with sexy curls. The song is utter pants, but it's a perfect song choice for her (particularly given she may actually need some new pants at the end). It sounds like something they'd play on Nova, about 200 million times a day.

"That was rubbish," yells Raoul.

"That was gold, absolute gold!" yells Dicko. I guess there's no accounting for taste.

Marcia gives her props, and Kyle mentions Madam is on fire. Maybe she stood too close to Luke's beard backstage? The ghost of Holden says nothing, having gotten thoroughly bored with the distinct lack of attention he's been getting.

MEanwhile, The Scientist has been a bit quiet here in Idol HQ - what's up?

"I don't give a fuck, to be honest," he says.

"Yeah, I would be happy if I never watched this again. There's so much other good films to watch," slurs Raoul.

"So much other good films? What the fuck?" says Sooty.

This intellectual postulating is suddenly interrupted by the entrance of Jonny "I'm not a techno goth" Taylor, who is not a techno goth because he's wearing cammo pants this week. See?

Sooty reckons Jonny has massively oversized hands. Apparently he also had a car crash a few years ago. Are the two things related? Who can say?

He's chosen to do Pearl Jam's Better Man, and FUCKING HELL he really DOES have huge hands! They take up half the screen! And hey, you know what they say about men with big hands? Big gloves.

The amount that I love Jonny's deep, sexy, velvety voice is inversely proportional to the way I dislike his lank, greasy, home dyed hair. He sounds great doing this song, although it is lacking passion. And I respect his choice to do the Aussie pronounciation of "can't". GOOD ONYA JONNY, STICK IT TO UNCLE SAM AND CHUCK ANOTHER PRAWN ON THE BARBIE.

Marcia tells us all that she doesn't live inside Jonny's brain. Thanks for the update, Marcia. Kyle says there were two things he couldn't get over during Jonny's performance. Me too - HIS TWO GIANT HANDS. But no, Kyle apparently has a problem with Australians singing in an Australian accent. Because it's just so much more AUTHENTIC to sing like Americans. Dicko lets us all know how awesome he is by pointing out that he worked with Eddie Vedder before he was famous, and then invites Jonny on a drive in the country with him to "get a bit Wolf Creek". Yeah. I think I know who would turn out to be the psycho killer in that situation. The ghost of Holden shrieks "AVENGE MY DEATH!" and it's back over to Ken Doll and Monkey Boy for a bit of post performance banter.

"It is difficult being naked up here," says Jonny, who obviously has an elevated idea of how effective camouflage pants actually are.

"Naked? That'd get you the votes," says Ken Doll. Especially if those hands are anything to go by...

Moving on to our next performer for the evening, Chrislyn Hamilton. And just for something different, she's singing ARETHA FUCKING FRANKLIN. Oh Chrislyn, think. Think about what you're trying to do to us.

Chrislyn storms out on stage with all the bubble and sass of a shaken up bottle of Lucozade - WOO is she happy to be there! But honey - we know you're fat and fabulous, but shiny blue spandex tops are not your friend. I hate to say it, but she looks rather like that Hyundai they've been spruiking in the adbreaks.

I was a major Chrislyn fan up until now, but this performance is just sloppy. If I wanted a fat chick to yell and puff and strut at me for five minutes I would have tuned in to Jerry Springer. This is no good. I'm heartbroken.

Dicko tells her to get on the treadmill because she's too puffed. Marcia says you can't sing like that unless you've been loved. Maybe she has been - it would explain the breathlessness. Kyle stands up and rips what was left of Holden's heart right out of his rotting corpse by screaming "TOUCHDOWN!" and making the crowd go mental. The ghost of Holden starts practising flicking a coin across the floor, so he can kick Kyle's arse later on.

And before you can say "it's not over til the fat lady sings"... it's not over. Because Mark Sparno is our final performer for the night. DEAR GOD WILL IT NEVER END.

Mark's package reveals that he lives in a flat out the back of his grandma's house. Mark is so rock. I quite like Mark actually, but his face is a little bit too "identikit photo" for me. Still, as long as Luke the shearer stays in he'll look less criminally inclined by comparison. Mark mentions he's been up at the crack of dawn, prompting all four of us in Idol HQ to yell "WHO'S DAWN?" and laugh hysterically at our own awesomeness.

Suddenly he launches into INXS' Never Tear Us Apart, and I'm sure it's wonderful but I can't concentrate as I've been distracted by his jacket, which looks like it's been mauled by a tiger on the way to the stage. Still, it doesn't stop the wicked rockness that is Marko, the Italian stallion. Even without the obligatory 80s sax solo, it's a slice of fabulousness on a plate of awesome.

Marcia congratulates Mark on knowing what to sing. Yes, see, he chose a song and learned it, and then... oh never mind, Marcia, you'll pick it up as the show goes on. Mark announces he's never done a string section before. Plenty of time for that after the show mate, steady on. Kyle calls him the real deal, and Dicko says he's "masculine, sexy, dangerous and cheeky". All of which are true and have no comedic value whatsoever. The ghost of Holden looks up from his coin flicking and says "Ditto".

And finally we're at the end of the road. Ricki Lee lurches into frame again and urges us to get behind our favourites, prompting Raoul to bark "CAN WE VOTE HER OUT?"

And suddenly everyone rushes off stage to "get into the backstage action". Possibly involving a string section. Who will be kicked off tomorrow night? Than Bui. Ten bucks.



20 comments :

  1. nice run down. yay!

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  2. Thanks for the run down! It was defiantely more entertaining then last nights show.

    Is this really the final 12... the mind boggles that out of 26,000 people who auditioned FLUKE Dikens is within the top 12 most marketable performers in Australia...

    And can someone please stop giving Jonny red bull before the show. Seriously.... he is getting a bad rep as the party boy of the group!

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  3. Well it's true. There are SO much better films to watch, it's not funny. But your blog is! I would have picked the shearer to get kicked out of the shed faster than a marino with dags on its arse, but you're right, he was actually pretty good. Given that, I think either Minor Tom (get it, Bowie fans?) or the Queensland kickboxer are out this week

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  4. oh blandy, how i've missed you... :). A terrific recap, as always.

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  5. I'm so glad you're back!!!! Cracker recap! Petstarr, never leave us again . . . .

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  6. Welcome back!!

    Although Teale is in fact from Yatala in Queensland, not South Australia, but it is equally bogan so I have no real point to make when I think about it...

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  7. Loved the recap!

    You are hilarious.

    GO MARK SPANO

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  8. Aaaah.....all is right with the world again.

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  9. YAY your back!
    Love it so much!
    The constant references to Mark Holden were comedy gold.

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  10. The best bit of Idol each week is your Blog...

    Thanks so much, hilarious as usual!! Bought tears to my eyes!!

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  11. just watching big hands Jonny copping out the final 11 that they are better singing covers than he is,,,

    bloody good blog PS (as they call you in the smail) - my good whiff Kelly made me read this out loud as they poured through the gap-filler action tonight... all gold as I'd expect - good to hear the side-car comments too...

    I can't believe we have to hear him one more time - noooo Jonny, get orrrf... ah well, at least I got it right in the RIP IT UP Idol Tipping Comp... shit am I commenting on a blog or writing a Facebook message - shit I better g....

    thank god it was a 49 sec version of Grapevine...

    bring it on weekly PS... you know we luff it... xx PK

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  12. Great to have you back :)

    My thinking when watching late last night was pretty much along the same lines. I thought Brooke Addamo was absolutely astonishing - confident, pitch-perfect and with a... hmm, what would you call it... a "sound" about her voice that had me dashing off to the CD shelf to find out if Natasha Bedingfield's version was that good. News flash: Brooke actually sung it *better than the original*. Probably didn't hurt that she got a decent arrangement from the band AND a decent sound mix. Most Idol victims have their vocal mixed way, way too loud.

    Madam Parker's got a great voice and a nice easy style about her, but Brooke Addamo deserved the sort of gushing praise that Madam got. At least Dicko savvily asked her to keep choosing non-ballads.

    Thanh Bui = Farnham, precisely.

    Sophie Patterson is dreadful. Just awful. I just get a Midday Show vibe every time she sings. It's like being time-warped to the Good Friday Telethon and chained to a chair. No fair that she got in the final 12 while that fascinating one from the final 24 who screwed up her semi-final thanks to a screwed-up voice didn't.

    And Chrislyn... oh lordy, why every year do we have to put up with crap like that? That was NOT GOOD. It wasn't even good by New faces standards. Judge the singer and the song, judges, for hell's sake. Leave the creation of against-the-odds media heroes to the PR department.

    Brooke Addamo FTW. And I remember both her face and Naomi Watts', for what it's worth :)

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  13. Love your work Petstarr - great to have you back.

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  14. I love you - please don't leave again. I've missed this.

    I am also very glad that another south aussie or two get to giggle with me over the fact that he's from Yatala - ahahahahaha, and it shows that I'm a bogan South Aussie that I actually know and laugh at that. Oh well :)

    Also, quote of this entry:
    "It's really quite distressing, like a cat being shoved into a bag full of spiders. Please sir, can we not have any more?"

    thankyouthankyouthankyou :D

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  15. Pet, Jonny's hands only look big on television.
    Y'see, a friend once told me that apparently, everything on Idol in real life is SOOYYY TINY! They told me this many, many, many times.

    Soy tiny.

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  16. PetStarr. I am delighted by your return.

    Cheers

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  17. You reckon Jonny's hands are big - check out Mark Spano's neck. And I agree about the identikit look, but still have a bit of crush.

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  18. I discovered the hotness of Roshani in that episode, and i SHALL return for more.

    Oh yes.

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  19. Dicko had a very savage(& quite funny) go at Jonny Bighands today, here's the http://audio.dmgradio.com.au/vega915/brekky/unzippedjonny.mp3link...

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  20. Yay! I'm so glad that even though I have moved to Indonesia now, I can still keep up to date with Idol! It was harder to leave Andrew G and James than it was to leave my family...

    Thank god for Bland Canyon and YouTube!

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