Monday, September 14, 2009

Australian Idol 09 Wrap Up: Final 2 - Rock Night

Ahh, Rock Night. The most hallowed and sacred night on the Idol calendar (after Disco Night and Australian Hits Oh Alright Then You Can Sing New Zealand Bands Too Night).

So sacred and special is Rock Night that lo, it cannot be described with the words of mere mortals. Yea, the closest ye can get to describing its innate awesomeness is with pictures. And thus, if Rock Night could be summed up in a picture, it would be this:


FAIL.


Or this:


Think about it...


Or this:


Mmm, Coldplay again!


Yes, for some reason not one Idol has ever managed to actually rock out on Rock Night - despite the occasional misguided attempt at ACDC no one ever usually gets any harder than Powderfinger. It's pathetic, it's sad, it's almost always awkward to watch - AND THAT'S WHY WE LOVE IT.


This was me last night, I swear.


So - on with the salve, and on with the show! And first up tonight Ken Doll introduces our guest for the night, SUZI QUATRO!

What's that you can hear? Why, I believe that's the sound of a million teenagers rolling their eyes. Or possibly changing channels for the next five minutes, I can't be sure.

On comes Suzi dressed as 1974 to sing Devilgate Drive, and everyone pretends the next four and a half minutes of their lives aren't completely lame.


WOW SUZI QUATRO IS ON? SHE'S SO zzzzzzzzzzzz.


Here's the thing: Suzi Quatro might have been awesome once, but now she looks like your mum. And actually kind of sounds like her after a few chardys at your uncle Gerry's 50th. Whicih brings me to this salient point: there comes a time in every woman's life when she has to admit that leather pants are no longer a good idea.


This is that time.


"My teenage fantasies are all coming alive," says Ken Doll excitedly. If only the internet had been around in the 80s to cater for his "old women in leather" fetish.

And from one train wreck into another - the first person to leave the Idol house (speaking of which, does everyone remember when they actually used to LIVE in a house together, and the cameras used to go behind the scenes showing us how they shared bunk beds and stuff? WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT?) is ASHLEIGH eyebrows, whose real name I've just realised is Ashleigh Tool. Which is a much better joke. Oh well.

"I'm really pleased at the way you're leaving us," says Ken Doll.

So is the front row, evidently.


The world is Ashleigh's gynaecologist.



Fortunately I'm distracted from Ashleigh's nether regions by Marcia, who has come to the Idol fancy dress party tonight dressed as a giant Kool Fruit.


Refreshing! (And she makes a great sound when you roll her down the aisle at the cinema)


Meanwhile, it's over to Ricki Lee and her co host Nancy Ganz to say something unimportant...


Try a vest next week instead, it works for everyone else


...before throwing back to Ken Doll to give us a potted history of Suzi Quatro for the benefit of - well, Idol's entire TV viewing audience. I'd like to think the kids at home are lapping it up, saying things like "Wow, she makes ME want to grow a mullet and grab a guitar!" but I have a feeling they're thinking the same thing I am: what Coen brothers movie has this chick just strolled out of?


O style, where art thou?


On to the first performer for the evening - HAYLEY - who is getting a quick rundown on rock and roll by Suzi. The basic equation seems to be: rock and roll = leather. There might have been something about music in there too but that's basically it.

Hayley's singing something by Paramore, which I suspect is one of those bands that "the kids" like these days. I bet they look something like this:


Maybe with a bit more eyeliner.


Just for something different she's decided to wear A BLACK FUCKING VEST, this time with ripped stonewash jeans she retrieved from an archaelogical dig at the site of Madonna's first video clip. I have never heard this song before in my life but it's not bad. And at least it's not Coldplay. Hayley is hot.

Dicko says he wants to do some dad dancing because Hayley is becoming so believable. IS that what he does every time he believes in something? How inconvenient. Kool Fruit says Hayley needs some TLC, which is obviously crap advice because Waterfalls is SO not rock and roll. Der, Marcia. Suzi Q says she had energy, the look and attitudfe with a capital A and... HANG ON, THERE ARE FOUR JUDGES NOW?


Maybe next week they can hold "Inappropriate Night" and bring back Kyle as guest judge.


Jay Dee says "there's nothing I can say to top that". So he doesn't say anything at all. Just for something different. Meanwhile, up in the rafters...


"You reckon YOU were hard done by? They told me four judges would be too many, and now look at it!"


Moving right along to CASEY, who I like to refer to as "bung eye" but who everyone on the show likes to refer to as "the 30 year old dad from Queensland". There's a description that will sell records.

"30 IS NOT OLD!" shrieks Raoul from the kitchen. (It's his birthday on Thursday).

Casey in a nutshell:

  • Suzi says Casey seems like a nice guy and then punches him in the face, echoing what Raoul and I have been wanting to do to him since the show began. Or maybe she's just trying to even up his vision.


  • Suzi continues to "help", telling Casey to stay away from cliches - you know, like mullet hairdos, studs and leather jumpsuits.


  • Casey comes out and sings something by Carolina Liar. Who? I dunno, this show's making me feel older every week (and Casey's like, 30, so how the hell does that work?)


  • At least his T shirt matches his tatts.




  • "What a waaaaaaste of tiiiiiime," he sings. I couldn't agree more.


  • Marcia says it was very "un-nice". Somehow this is meant to be a compliment. Suzi tells him to pull the focus in a bit. Steady on, he's half blind! Meanwhile, Jay Dee completely extinguishes all those pesky gay rumours by telling Casey to pull something out that will knock him against the wall, and Dicko confirms that Casey is a real person and not just a hologram by confirming that "physically, you were absolutely there tonight".


    Unlike Holden and Kyle who are only spiritually there.


It's about this point that I start to wonder if anyone will sing a song I actually KNOW tonight. AND I'M NOT EVEN 30.

KATE the cowgirl is up next.


Anyone wanna bet on her singing Lee Kernaghan? Keith Urban? SHANIA TWAIN - it will DEFINITELY be Shania Twain.


In her usual inimitable style Kate has ironed her best Harley Davidson shirt and bogan jeans for a rehearsal with her idol, Suzi Quatro.

"You're the shit mate, you're the fuckin queen of rock and roll mate," she slags in what may later be used as her audition tape for Ladette to Lady.

She's chosen to sing Jet's Are You Gonna Be My Girl.

I'm not sure what pick up lines usually work for Kate, but covering oneself in leather and studs and yelling "BE MY GIRL!!!!" is probably only successful in certain establishments.

Truth be told, she looks like Hoggle's taller cousin from Labyrinth.


Dance, magic dance, magic dance...


She's been taking eye makeup lessons from Hayley, which is a good thing, but she spends most of her time on stage strutting around pointing at the cameras and yelling, which is a bad thing. I's clear she's tried to head from the country to the city with thsi one, but sadly she's ended up somewhere in the outer suburbs by mistake. Somewhere near a discount supermarket.

Suzi says Kate is like Melissa Etheridge. And you know, all those other lesbian rockers out there like... er... well you know, Melissa Etheridge. Jay Dee points out that he's not a woman, which explains why Raoul is yet to be distracted by his cleavage. Dicko says alternative rock is not Kate's thing. Lucky she did Jet, then. Kool Fruit gets out her Little Book of Blackspeak That Sounds Cool But Doesn't Mean Anything and says it either is or it ain't, and Kate's IS.

"Next up is Toby Moulton from Adelaide," says Ken Doll.

"Ohhhh that's going to be SHIT," groans Raoul, slumping back to the kitchen in protest.

But actually he's wrong, because up next is NATHAN the curtain haired Queen (fan).

"I think Nathan isn't sure who he is yet, he's searching," says Suzi. So are all the people who keep coming to this blog by googling "Nathan Idol gay", by the looks of it.

"I want to be vulnerable but I'm too scared," Nathan mews, which would seem to be rather missing THE ENTIRE POINT of what "vulnerable" actually is.

Just like all the other Idols before him, Nathan is doing his best to make me feel as old as possible by singing a song I vaguely recognise but don't know.


Bloody upstarts!


But I do know one thing - IT'S NOT FUCKING ROCK. Neither is his decidedly girly neck scarf that hasn't been popular since Matt Corby was single handedly responsible for getting it stocked in Sportsgirl two years ago. But despite the non rock song, the dodgy scarf and the saddlebags (hey, if Kyle can tell Jessica Mauboy she had a muffin top...) he's delivering a very convincing teen-angsty performance and he sounds golden. And nothing like Freddie Mercury, thank god.

Jay Dee says it's rare you get to sit in a room with a legend like this. No one's sure if he's referring to himself or not. Dicko says Nathan's "theatrical", which as we all know, is media speak for "flamboyant".


Just like Elton John.


Kool Fruit reaches under the desk and grabs the script for Hott Catholic Schoolgirls II that Kyle accidentally left behind a month ago, turns to page three and says "being vulnerable baby is what it's about, don't be scared, yeah". Suzi Q says she hit his soft side. How rude, to comment on his lovehandles like that.

"I reckon he's a contender, that Nathan," I say to Raoul.

"I can't find my nuts," whinges Raoul, which is coincidentally what Nathan said just before going on stage tonight.

Moving on to TOBY, who is continuing with his method of choosing songs by working through the playlist on his iPod with Muse's Starlight. Finally, a song I know. This one's going to be a ball tearer if he does it right. Sadly, we all know he won't. I have no idea what he and Suzi said to each other during their rehearsal because Raoul and I were too busy singing Muse to each other and congratulating each other on our own awesomeness.

Toby's rocking his usual unimpressive "dad on the weekend" look, although he's grown a bit of stubble to combat his "nice guy" image. Sadly, it's strayed rather a bit too far into "homeless guy" territory.


Buddy can you spare a dime?


"Muse is only good because Matt Bellamy plays the guitar like a motherfucker," says Raoul. I concur - it's hard to impress with Muse without setting off some fireworks and busting out a massive guitar solo. Toby, by comparison, is more like a few sparklers and a banjo riff.

Dicko continues the weekly "gay banter with Toby" theme by telling him his entry point isn't pointy enough. Toby returns the favour by inviting Dicko back to his house. Christ, why don't they just throw a "Gay Night" and get over it once and for all? Nathan can sing Queen, Toby can sing Suede, Jay Dee can dress as a woman and Dicko can wear nipple clamps AND EVERYONE WILL BE HAPPY. Suzi Q says she wants to see Toby use the microphone as his lover (maybe he could use it in his entry point?). Jay Dee desperately tries to score some popularity points by saying Toby did a really good job, and then namedrops the Sex Pistols to prove he's still cool. IT DOESN'T WORK.

Moving along to TIM who is backstage preparing for a ball tearing, arse clenching, teeth shattering night of ROOOOCK by "being the most polite and kind Idol we've ever had". Oh goody, that sounds fun. I shall get the doilies out. Tim announces he's going to sing the Rolling Stones, at which point I black out - it's some sort of defence mechanism I think, to prevent msyelf from hearing Tim murdering rock and roll - and only come to in time to hear him say the words "Jack Flash".

Oh dear god no. He's not going to do Jumping Jack Flash, surely? I didn't hear anything following this, as Raoul and I were singing other Stones songs he should have chosen instead. I vote for Paint It Black and Raoul votes for Satisfaction. Then we both vote for Sympathy for the Devil and shake on it. Over to Ken Doll, who makes sure this song is made even more obscure for Idol's tween audience by introducing it as "the song that inspired Whoopi Goldberg's movie".


Whoopee who?


"What is he, a black woman in a gospel choir?" snorts Raoul as Tim launches into a slow r&b style intro to the song.

Actually, no. Tim is the whitest person you've ever met. In fact he may actually be Jim Carrey:


Alrighty then!


"Gas, gas, gas, gasssssssssssssssss," he sings. So if he doesn't win Idol, he might get a job with Metamucil.

Suzi asks if Tim can see the audience. Is he blind too? What the hell is going on with the Idols this year? Jay Dee says Suzi saved a train wreck, which kind of puts her on par with Superman (and about the same tightness of pants). Dicko says Tim "looks like he's had his rock cherry popped". Tuesday's sales of stain remover skyrocket as millions of Australians attempt to get vomit out of their living room carpets.

Next up is SABRINA, who explains what rock is to everyone by saying it's "grit and raw and dirty".

"She's talking about the actual characteristics of a rock," points out Raoul.


By gum, she's right!


No word on whether she'll be doing sedimentary or igneous tonight, although we do know from her rehearsals with Suzi Q that she'll be SCREAMING AND WAILING LIKE LINDA BLAIR ON CRACK. It is quite likely from this preview that Sabrina's grand finale will involve spinning her head round and spewing on the audience (which will still be an improvement on whatever SCOTT is planning to do).

She's singing Linkin Park and frankly, it's fucking frightening. She starts off quiet and dramatic, but within 30 seconds she's built up to a full blown roar and is crying, wailing and kicking over mic stands. POW! It's like being attacked by a gypsy postcard seller at a train station: "You buy my postcards? Please miss, you buy my postcard? HEY, I said you buy postcard! HEY MISS, why you not want buy postcard? BLOODY MISS I SAID HEY YOU HAVE MONEY YOU BUY MY SHITTING POSTCARDS!!!" Except with more leather and less postcards.


Imagine the sound that goes with this image, multiply it by about 50 decibels and then imagine SOMEONE HITTING YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH A FRYING PAN FOR THREE MINUTES. That's what Sabrina's performance was like.


It is TRULY terrible. Suzi Quatro's face sums it up:


WTF?


"You had tears in your eyes," she says. Yes Suzi, everyone did. That's generally what happens when you're subjected to an unrelenting, piercing noise.

Jay Dee says he would have stood up and applauded except that he's stapled to the floor. In other news - if that's the only thing stopping him from leaving the show, can someone please bring a claw hammer next week? Dicko attempts to qualify for the Australian team in the Obvious Olympics by saying says Sabrina is over dramatic.


No, that's not the same thing as "theatrical".


"Every chorus for you is like a major international incident," says Dicko, stealing the coveted Bland Canyon Quote of the Week crown away from last week's winner, Jay Dee.

Kool Fruit does her weekly shout out to the lighting crew by saying that light and shade is the secret, everyone applauds Sabrina for being a complete fucking mess and we roll on to JAMES who says it was a real buzz to rehearse with Suzi Quatro who is like, Dicko's big sister or something.

Suzi teaches him to sing rock and roll by opening up his legs. Hopefully Marcia will encourage him to pop one out, Ken Doll will mention Whoopi again and Tim wil join him on stage to sing "It's a gas gas gas" - then the holy trinity of fart jokes will be complete. As it turns out, James has chosen to sing Fall Out Boy - although I'm not entirely sure where it'll be falling out from. I'm just about to make a joke about this when I black out again at the sight of James' T Shirt.


Oh no you didn't. OH NO YOU DIDN'T!


When it comes to sacrilege, a teenage Idol contestant wearing a Bob Dylan T Shirt to sing Fall Out Boy ranks up there with farting on the Pope.


You won't ever be this cool, don't try, please don't wear any more Dylan T shirts, thank you.
(And before you all start leaving comments on how Dylan has sold out anyway because he's recording a Christmas album and lending his voice to a Satnav system - I CAN'T HEAR YOU I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA LA)


"He's like a little kid jumping around in his loungeroom," spits Raoul, who is also filled with Dylan T shirt-related rage. I concur.

"Hey, cool t shirt," says Jay Dee.


Grrrrrrr....


Jay Dee continues his insightful critique by saying "as long as you enjoyed yourself that's all that matters". Good. Well if that's the main criteria for winning Idol why didn't this bloke get anywhere?


Dicko says he "thought it would be a banana skin". Er, Dicko - you want a banana skin, turn to your right.


Tasty!


"I know exactly what Suzi's done," says Marcia ominously.


So do a whole lot of cows - BUT THEY WON'T BE TELLIN' NO ONE NOW, WILL THEY?


Suzi says James looks like Stevie Wonder. Marcia's interest in James increases by 30%.

Next up (oh my god, is it not over yet? Seriously?) is SCOTT, otherwise known as the one who'll get kicked off next week, doing American Woman. Ten bucks says he thinks Lenny Kravitz wrote it. Actually, ten bucks says he doesn't even know who Lenny Kravitz is.


Meanwhile, I'm going straight out to buy one of these.


Suzi Quatro kicks off their rehearsal together by kneeing Scott straight in the balls. I'm not sure if this is to improve his falsetto, or just because she doesn't like him. Whatever the reason, he's clearly still feeling the effects of it when he hits the stage, as he starts his performance by lying down on his back and singing at the ceiling. Has Suzi killed him? Is he paraplegic now? No, he's just being DRAMATIC (not theatrical). Or, as I like to call it: LAME.

As a tribute to Scott the brickie and his monosyllabic interviewing style, I shall sum up his performance thus: Sleeveless vest. Short legs. Try to DJ - FAIL. Botox face. Even my sister says it's shithouse.

Dicko says describes Scott as a beginner amongst a bunch of professionals. I say that when a barista and a drama graduate rank as more professional than you, it's time to give up whatever you're doing. Kool Fruit says his bottom end was slammin'. I can only assume his top half was fastened shut, like a barn door. Suzi says she liked him lying on the ground. Me too, it was just a pity he got up again. She tells him to sing in front of a mirror, rich advice coming from Suzi who clearly hasn't looked in a mirror for some time. Jay Dee says "God I look like a tool on TV", which is about the most accurate judgement he's made over the last few weeks. Ken Doll says something about guns, Scott does an impression of a concussed rugby player...


Duhhhh.


...and we all move on to KIM who is a cheap trick.

Oops, of course I mean SINGING Cheap Trick.


And why wouldn't she? Look how cool they are.


She's also doing a very good impression of an optical illusion thanks to a very short black and white mini dress. I think the illusion is that she's wearing underpants.

"I wonnnnt yewww to wonnnnt maaayyyyy," she sings in that strange accent she puts on when she's on stage.

She sounds a bit like a sheep stuck in a barbed wire fence crossed with Gwen Stefani. Which reminds me that Just a Girl would have been a way better song for her to do. It's mostly good, but there are shades of the after-work-drinks-that-accidentally-winds-up-at-a-karaoke-bar-at-3am about it. But let's face it, the girl has great hair and even better teeth, which at this stage of the competition can count for a lot more than singing like a sheep.

Kool Fruit puts on her June Dally Watkins hat, gets in her Delorean, drives back to 1953 and says "When you've got a dress on, stay a lady". Suzi says "do it with trousers". Preferably leather ones. For approximately the 350th time this episode Jay Dee says he can't follow their comments at all and so says nothing. I'm so glad he's here, aren't you? Dicko tells Hayley to bend over, but before we have to reach for the bucket again it's time for our last Idol of the night (HALLELUJAH - do you know how long these things take to write?) STAN.

"He has got something very special to show you," says Ken Doll. Oh goody, is he going to bend over too?

No actually, he's going to do Metallica's Nothing Else Matters.

Say what? Did you say that an IDOL is going to sing a REAL ROCK SONG on ROCK NIGHT? COULD IT BE POSSIBLE? It is, dear reader. AND NOW YOU KNOW WHY STAN IS STILL MY FAVOURITE.

He's ditched the daggy old cardy from last week and spruiced up with a cool black jacket and pants, with a weird bit of chain hanging down from somewhere. I don't know what it does - maybe it's to stop him being stolen from outside buildings. It's a little bit soul, a little bit rock and whole lot of awesome. Stan for PM.

"Shi-i-it yeah, that was best of the night," gasps Raoul. I concur. (Apart from Hayley, who was rather on par with the awesomeness levels this week.)

Suzi says she felt him and liked it when Stan took her down low. So THAT'S why they didn't show much footage from their rehearsals. Jay Dee says something about emotion washing over him, but all I heard was "Blah blah blah I'm not as funny as Kyle was". Dicko says Stan's awesome and believable and disciplined, none of which is remotely funny, unfortunately for me. Kool Fruit wraps up proceedings with by saying "when Stan sings like that, nothing else does matter", although I don't hear her because I'm busy groaning.

So, who's in the bottom three next week then?

"It's hard to call, they're all so shit," muses Raoul, before going for TIM, TOBY and SCOTT.

Contentiously, I'm picking KATE, SABRINA and SCOTT, with odds on Kate to go.

And now a word of advance notice - I'll be unable to post a wrap up of this Sunday's show (or if I do, it'll be mighty late)(yes, even later than this one was, you smart arses). I can't say why, just know that the words "frozen cocktail machine" are involved. I hope you understand.

In the meantime, feel free to add your own witty appraisals of the show in the comments, or hit me up in Twitter @petstarr.



12 comments :

  1. Sabrina the teenage Gypsy Postcard Seller!! Perfect way to describe that "performance". Please blog next week, I'll wait for you forever

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  2. It was still one of the shittest eps of Idol EVER even though I'd been on a 3 day bender and could barely see the TV and was fast forwarding through the dull bits.

    Ugh!

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  3. Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant

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  4. This is NOT meant to be funny like your wrap up but I write this review on another site. Just in case there is no blog this week.
    ***********************************
    BOTTOM 3 FROM WEEK 2 – SABRINA BATSHON – KIM COOPER – CASEY BARNES

    ELIMINATED – CASEY BARNES (No real surprise there!)
    *********************************************************

    AUSTRALIAN IDOL – WEEK 3 – SUNDAY 20 SEPTEMBER 2009


    TOP TEN HITS NIGHT – GUEST JUDGE & MENTOR – BRIAN McFADDEN


    1 - SABRINA BATSHON – (When Love Takes Over – Kelly Rowlands) – Seems incapable of singing without shouting. This song is very repetitive in its lyrics but overall she didn’t do a bad job. Just has that superior “I’m better than everyone else” attitude and tends to grate on me. She’s hit and miss. Unlikely to win outright but will probably sneak through again. 5.5/10

    2 - TOBY MOULTON – (Take On Me - Aha) – What an unbelievably horrendous rendition of this huge hit. Sounded nothing like the original and despite trying to put his own spin on it, it was worse than awful. Cringe worthy in the extreme. 3.5/10.

    3 - KIM COOPER – (Just Dance – Lady GaGa) – Looks more like she should be on Make Me A Super Model. Chose a massive hit song but never gave it enough punch. Looked like being a world-beater at one stage and stepped up last week but this slid into the mediocre basket. 5/10

    4 - STAN WALKER – (Straight Lines - Silverchair) – Is he trying to morph himself into a Grace Jones lookalike with his hoodies? Another smooth, polished performance of a great hit song. Appears to have a big fan base already and is a certainty to get through. 7.5/10

    5 – JAMES JOHNSTON – (Drops of Jupiter – Train) – Boy, what a massive hit to pick. Although he puts in a good performance each week, it’s hard to actually see him winning the whole shebang. Difficult to know whether he can get any better? 5.5/10

    6 - SCOTT NEWNHAM – (Kiss From A Rose – Seal) – Puuuurrrrlease! Scrubbed up very well tonight but this spiralled down the gurgler! Off key half the time and showed his significant limitations. Has a cheeky manner which will take him a long way but he’s out of his league. 4/10

    7 - NATHAN BRAKE – (Since You’ve Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson) – Wow! Talk about getting “outed” on national TV! The judges seemed more concerned with his private life than his singing. At least he took it all in good grace. He has an amazing voice which will no doubt see him get through again. 8/10

    8 - KATE COOK – (Landslide – Fleetwood Mac) – Gosh, this was actually very good. A heartfelt rendition of one of my favourite songs and looked very much as though this performance meant a great deal to her. Told the story of the song really well and seems a shoo-in to get through again. 7.5/10

    9 - TIM JOHNSTON (What Goes Around Comes Around – Justin Timberlake) – Has survived the bottom 3 once but this may just put him back there. Despite the fact that he didn’t do a bad job, he just seems to coast along as though this is not a contest. He’s certainly not the worst but is there a big performance in him? I doubt it. 6/10

    10 - HAYLEY WARNER – (Leave (Get Out) – Jojo) – How funny were the Special K red lips? I actually liked this song when it came out but not sure she did this any justice. Appeared awkward in her movements and not as comfortable as last week. Still a lot better than some though. 7/10

    ***************************************************
    Next Sunday – 80’s Week

    Special Guest Judge & Mentor
    None specified

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  5. Nice wrap-up, OneCLICKwonder~!
    Summed it up nicely.

    Hayley Warner's red lips were LOLLLLL. :D
    And James and Nathan were good.
    Kim was quite good. She sang Lady Gaga (I LOVE LADY GAGA) but Lady Gaga > Kim Cooper. js.

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  6. Oh Petstarr - I only saw five minutes of this episode (five minutes too many considering it took in the primal scream therapy of the Linkin Park cover), but your Labyrinth reference makes me wish I at least saw that snippet! I haven't been so excited by country music fashion since I bought one of these - amazon.com/Taylor-Swift-Performance-Collection-Singing/dp/B002J2ACF0

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  7. OH MY GOD I MET THAT FINAL COUNTDOWN GUY IN LONDON. We were at his house. He featured on a DVD, "Worst Idol Auditions" or something equally descriptive. His mum sent it over to him. We watched it and then discussed how he only auditioned to support a friend, yet he actually got through. I think it was something to do with he "Do do do doooo, do do do do doooooo, do do do doooo, do do do do do do do..." etc.

    He was quite chuffed to make it onto the shit DVD. Every cloud...

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  8. Please write us another wrap up! I've been checking in every day this week, I need my lunch-break entertainment!!

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  9. BOTTOM 3 FROM WEEK 3 – SABRINA BATSHON – KIM COOPER – NATHAN BRAKE

    ELIMINATED – SABRINA BATSHON (Yay! Mostly her own doing!)


    AUSTRALIAN IDOL – WEEK 4 – SUNDAY 27 SEPTEMBER 2009


    SONG FROM THE 80’s NIGHT – GUEST JUDGE & MENTOR – ROSS WILSON


    1 - NATHAN BRAKE – (Living On A Prayer – Bon Jovi) – I think Dicko was on the wrong track here. This song suited him to a tee and he did a great job. Could have lifted his cap just slightly so we could see his eyes more but sang with confidence and shouldn’t be in the bottom 3 based on this performance. 7.5/10

    2 - SCOTT NEWNHAM – (Let’s Groove – Earth, Wind & Fire) – Doesn’t he just look like a chubby little teddy bear? He might be soft and cuddly but should he really be here? Marcia thinks so, I don’t! He’s going to last a while longer until his female fans come to terms with the fact he isn’t much good. 5/10

    3 - HAYLEY WARNER – (Dancing In The Dark – Bruce Springsteen) – The Special K lips were gone and the dark eyes took over. This was a great, confident performance and she took yet another step up. Showed her versatility with the drums and a monty to get through again. 8/10

    4 - TOBY MOULTON – (I Want To Know What Love Is – Foreigner) – Despite the fact I can’t stand his voice, this was bordering on ok. I still can’t stand the wobbly bits in his voice and his quivering mouth (it’s not vibrato, it’s just annoying) but judging by what has happened so far, he will probably make it through. 5/10

    5 - KIM COOPER – (You Keep Me Hanging On – Kim Wilde) – Talk about a yo-yo. One week she’s good, one week she’s mediocre. Last week not so good, this week ok. She has a great face, great looks and sensational green eyes but is she really a singer? The jury is still out. 5.5/10

    6 - TIM JOHNSTON (Heaven – Bryan Adams) – Don’t you just want to thump him in the shoulder and wake him up? He put in yet another good performance but just hasn’t made that breakthrough which would make you remember him. He may be working up to a “wow” moment but will he last that long? 7/10

    7 - KATE COOK – (When The Going Gets Tough – Billy Ocean) – Appeared as though the whole judging panel didn’t like this song. It was also covered by Boyzone with Ronan Keating doing a fun version. She did have problems with it and at times was out of sync with the music. After last week’s great performance, this was a bit of a downer. 5.5/10

    8 - STAN WALKER – (Purple Rain - Prince) – Finally, the first big moment of this year’s Idol has arrived. He has always been good but this was fantastic. You could almost think this song wouldn’t have suited him but it was brilliant. The highlight of the series so far. 9/10

    9 – JAMES JOHNSTON – (The Power Of Love – Huey Lewis & The News) – How stiff was he to have to follow Stan Walker? Another capable performance though and seemed more confident this week. Certainly worthy of staying around for a few more weeks. 7/10

    ***************************************************
    Next Sunday – PINK Night

    Special Guest Judge & Mentor
    None Specified

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  10. i just noticed in that photo of ricki lee that she has put on so much weight that you cant see 2 of the contestants behind her :D

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