Raoul and I here in Idol HQ will be running a live commentary on this glittering night of nights, and updating this entry every few minutes. All you have to do is keep refreshing this page! Let's just pray to the server gods that I won't exceed my bandwidth, or anything boring like that.
So as the clock ticks down, and Ruby Rose and her tattoos attempt to do something entertaining for once on the Your Generation Xmas special, we wait...
7.34pm: And wait...
7.35pm: Good, everything appears to be working so far. ISN'T LIVEBLOGGING FUN?
7.37pm: Ooh goody, it's started - with the obligatory montage of Stan and Hayley, our illustrious final two, as well as a montage of past Idol finalists you seriously can't remember. SOON, FOOTAGE OF ONE OF THESE PEOPLE WILL BE ADDED TO THAT MONTAGE FOR NEXT YEAR.
7.39pm: Next up - a performance from the choir of teens not good enough to make it into the top 100. Give them a hand!
7.40pm: Now a bunch of random audience members has stormed the stage! SECURITY, STOP THEM! Oh wait, it's the other finalists. You know, the ones you decided you didn't like weeks ago. So sit back and enjoy this performance by singers the whole country said they didn't like.
7.41pm: COUSIN IT CAN PLAY GUITAR! This is a real win for the Addams Family. Maybe they could start a band? The Partridge family did it.
7.42pm: Petstarr - "This song is terrible." Raoul: "This SHOW is terrible."
7.43pm: "This is major pants," says Raoul, before launching into a verion of "This is ground control to major pants...". Speaking of which, I'm rather impressed that Hayley has come dressed as David Bowie tonight. SALUTE YOUR ROCK ELDERS.
7.44pm: Meanwhile, Stan has come as a FULL ON NEW ZEALANDER. "Oh moy gourd thus us wucked men!"
7.45pm: OH MY GOD MARCIA WHAT THE HELL?
7.46pm: OK, now I've composed myself slightly I THINK I can work out what happened to Marcia's outfit - she was rushing to the Opera House from a bit of late Sunday shopping at Bunnings when she accidentally fell over an errant broomstick in the string aisle, and got caught up in a roll of twine. That can be the only explanation.
7.48pm: Hmm. I'm not going to be able to put up any photos tonight, am I? Bugger.
7.49pm: I might take this adbreak as an opportunity to say - if you're sitting here pressing F5, please leave me comments! I'd like to think I'm not all alone here. Also - if you can come up with a better explanation for Marcia's outfit, I'd like to hear it.
7.51pm: Michael Buble takes out his little book of Swing King Cliches, turns to chapter 11 - "Old school swing songs that 'the kids' still seem to love" and starts singing Feeling Good. It should be pointed out that he is LOOKING good, however. Mmm, Buble.
7.52pm: And here comes Hayley to ruin it even more. Sigh. Fortunately I am distracted by the glare from the shine on her bowling shoes which she has specially rented for the night.
7.54pm: Apparently it's a heatwave in Sydney right now. To this I say SUCKED IN. Now, where's my beanie and mug of hot tea? Mmm that's better.
7.56pm: "VOTE CLOSE COUNTDOWN - 73 million hours". At least, that's how I read it.
7.57pm: Another ad break. Didn't we have the last one about 32 seconds ago? This is going to be a long night. In other news - thanks for the comments! They are bolstering my spirits. I feel like a digger in the trenches receiving telegrams from home. OK, so it's not quite that bad - but Hayley hasn't sung her single yet so, you know..
8.00pm: OMG KYLE CAN SING NOW? Oh wait, that's Wes Carr.
8.01pm: OK... Wes Carr is singing Beat It...
8.02pm: With Ian Moss.
"Oh Wes, why did you have to sully my memory?"