Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The rudest waiter in Adelaide is at Amalfi

So tonight I got to meet the rudest waiter in Adelaide.

He works at Amalfi on Frome Street. Amalfi is a pizza/pasta restaurant that has been in operation in Adelaide for about 53,000 years, no thanks to this jerk.

This guy didn't just give bad service, he was RUDE. He was basically this guy, if this guy were giving you the finger and spitting on you at the same time:

"What? You want to spend MONEY here at this place where I WORK and you expect ME to be CIVIL to you? PAH."

Out with @Barilski on Rundle Street, we felt like a piece of cake and a coffee to round off our night. We spied Amalfi.

This is how things would have gone down in a normal restaurant:

PETSTARR: Hello, we would like some dessert and coffee, please.

WAITER: Certainly, please sit down. Here are some dessert menus. And we have ome specials which are lovely - they include chocolate-dipped kittens and rainbow filled unicorn horns.

PETSTARR: Why thank you, we would love to sample some of those delicious sounding desserts.

WAITER: It shall be done.

Instead, this is actually what happened:

PETSTARR: Hello, we would like some dessert and coffee, please.

WAITER 1 (aka "decent" waiter): Certainly, please sit down.

WAITER 2 (aka "arsehole" waiter) PUTS PIZZA MENUS ON TABLE.

PETSTARR: Could we see the dessert menu, please?

WAITER 2: Pfft. See where it says "Tiramisu" on the blackboard over there? THAT'S the dessert menu.

PETSTARR: Oh... right. Is that all you have, tiramisu?

WAITER 2: Yeah, we're pretty much a PIZZA and PASTA restaurant. (sarcastically, as if we are TOTALLY RETARDED and have missed the obvious "pizza and pasta" sign on the front window)

PETSTARR: Yeah, but usually pizza and pasta restaurants also have desserts...

WAITER 2: Well, we're too busy getting MEALS out to people.

PETSTARR: Then you're obviously TOO BUSY to serve us then, goodbye. (and then "fuck you" under her breath, or actually, really quite loudly, as she walks out the door, slamming it).

Dear Amalfi: I'm so SORRY we RUINED your night of SERVING DINERS their pizza and pasta by DARING to ask for dessert, we obviously mistook you for A FUCKING RESTAURANT.

Your waiter is the single rudest sever I have ever encountered anywhere in the world, and I've eaten at hot dog stands in New York. And dried squid stands in Hanoi.

I will NEVER be coming back to your restaurant ever again. And I hope that one day Gordon Ramsay turns up in your kitchen and shoves some tagliatelle up your collective rectum.



  1. Let's get the word out there about this jerk!

  2. I'll remember that when I'm down there. Word also passed on to some mates in Adelaide.

  3. If you want dessert go to an ice cream place, or a bakery. Restaurants are for dinner, then dessert when you're done. I'd probably want to clear your table for someone willing to come in and eat a meal too. Sorry.

  4. Anonymous, are you joking? A bakery? I have never been to a restaurant where they haven't been happy to discuss their desserts and coffee options. Pretty sure the best way to 'clear a table' isn't to just offend and alienate.

  5. It's a pity that you had to have a bad experience while in Adelaide (or maybe you live here? I don't know... either way it is still a pity) but in the end I think it's best that you didn't eat at Amalfi. It has about one good dish on the menu, and yet has somehow become renowned as the place to go and eat in Adelaide. There are thousands of better eateries in Adelaide. In fact, Adelaide probably has the best range of eateries than anywhere else in the country. So good on you for getting out of there. I hope you found a nice dessert elsewhere!

  6. I never thought I would ever find a blog that was as hilarious as yours until...


  7. I haven’t dined at Amalfi for a very long time now. But I remember it had great pizza. Now, thanks to this “waiter” I’m not planning on going there again. They should fire him.

  8. With this kind of service, it's better not to go there anymore. It is very disgusting to engage with these kind of people who never respect you as a customer. Disappointment indeed!

  9. Bad customer service is my single most hated thing EVER. WTF is wrong with people? One time, when I was buying 'intimate apparel' at Myer a snooty lady in the fitting room tried to make me feel bad for wanting her to get me an alternative size (boobs too small - devo) and she huffed and puffed until I said 'hey strawberry shortcake, it's your job to make me want to buy shit, not punch your face so maybe you could give me a hand because I'm half naked here.' It was probably my most awesome moment ever.

  10. PS - I totes didn't put any of the bras I tried on back on the hangers. Yeah boiz.

  11. it's a pity you're judging amalfi by one bad waiter. And besides it's kinda pretty well known that amalfi just does tiramisu as dessert....

  12. I think it's entirely reasonable to judge a restaurant by one bad waiter. Just like I'd judge it on one bad meal. And I don't mind if Amalfi chooses to only serve tiramisu for dessert - but I expect a waiter to be polite when telling me so.

  13. To the anonymous who keeps propping up Amalfi and it's rude rude rude service, rude, call i it!
    Amalfi once was a great place, desserts were all over the place, you could go there quite late, get great, sweet food on a plate, and the waiters were friendly and hot!!!
    Many many years ago though!!
    Penne con Pollo anyone?
    Waiter, may i have some more cocaine with my Tiramisu?
    Since brevity is the soul of wit!!
    great blog btdubs xo

  14. buy a meal you cheaparses, don't waste their time with girlie desserts