RuPaul's Drag Race season 9 recaps

The shadiest Drag Race recaps on the web. Get ready to death drop, queens!

The Bachelorette Australia recaps

One woman, 14 desperate men, mucho LOLs. Oh, and Osher Gunsberg.

The Bachelor Australia recaps

Sequins, spray tans and sex - it's season 3 of the world's stupidest dating show.

RuPaul's Drag Race Season 8 recaps

YASS, HUNTIES! Every episode of season eight recapped for your reading pleasure. Let's get sickening!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The dog ate my Australia's Next Top Model recap

So, about two people have complained that my Australia's Next Top Model episode 4 recap isn't up. STOP IT BOTH OF YOU, I CAN HARDLY HEAR MYSELF THINK.

Sadly I'm going to have to disappoint my pair of fans by announcing that ALAS, it seems I can't do any more recaps for the following pissy reasons:

A) I have moved my entire life into a storage unit and given my Foxtel box back to the Foxtel gods in preparation for moving to New York next week, and

B) I am currently living with my mother, which should be more than enough reason to get me out of doing ANYTHING but in particular means that I no longer have Foxtel IQ, with all its pausy-rewindy goodness and

C) The Fox8 gods have denied my requests for advance DVD copies of the show, even though they used to send them to me in the past and

D) The ANTM website doesn't seem to offer a video of the show.

All of which makes a recap with hilarious pictures rather difficult. Yes go on, cry.

I Googled "Charlotte Dawson crying" and this is what I got. It'll have to do.

Can anyone can point me to an ANTM torrent site? Otherwise - it's sorry and sayonara, kids.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Australia's Next Top Model Recap: Season 7, Episode 3

Somehow I survived the binge drinking extravaganza that was episode two, aka "The Frenchening", to make it here to episode three in which the modelettes finally move into what is annually generously referred to as "the model mansion". I feel we're going to need a whole lot more vodka to cope with this.

But before we start poisoning our livers for the second Monday in a row, let's take a look at some of our final 12. Or is it 16? Or 200? It's hard to tell as they all look vaguely the same this year - I think the ultimate plan is to farm all the similar looking ones for parts to make a super Frankenmodel that runs on natural gas and can walk five runways at a time.

Here's one at last year's New York Fashion Week.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Australia's Next Top Model Recap: Season 7, Episode 2

Do you know how expensive it is to fly to Paris? It's a lot. I mean, more than $100 a lot. Do you know how expensive it is to fly 20 wannabe models to Paris, plus a TV crew and a bunch of celebrities? Foxtel does, and they're not about to let you forget it.

So welcome to episode 2, otherwise known as "Ooh la la, mon dieu, c'est Paris, baguette bicycle La Tour Eiffel croissant La Top Model Australienne".

Sadly (and somewhat surprisingly) they actually mean Paris, France, not Paris, Texas.

Monday, August 08, 2011

Australia's Next Top Model Recap: Season 7, Episode 1

I know I said I wasn't going to do it. I know said I wasn't going to give up hours of my Monday night, slaving away on the laptop writing stupid jokes about scrawny, pale bogans punching walls and saying "moll" a lot. I know I said I was too busy and going overseas in four weeks anyway so what's the point.

But then I thought "You'll disappoint those three fans you have".

So here we go again.

The 2011 season opens with a quick rundown of all the people you've completely forgotten internationally famous Australian supermodels who have won the last six series. Impressively, Sarah Murdoch gets Amanda's name right.

I'm feeling sick about this...