Saturday, December 24, 2011

Supermarket smackdown: America vs Australia

Our local supermarket here in Manhattan is just like our one back home in Australia - if our supermarket back home took crazy pills and was actually located on another planet.

For one thing, our new supermarket is full of cheerful, smiling staff who stop to chat to you and offer you help, rather than surly, bored teenagers who look at you as though you've just asked them to write a 2000 word essay, even if you've only asked where the toilet paper is.

"Hi miss, do you need any assistance today?" said a cheery young man in a visor as I stared at various punnets of ice cream yesterday, trying to find the fat and sugar free version. (TIP: That doesn't exist in America).

"Er... no thanks, I'll be fine," I said, a bit taken aback, accustomed as I am to the Australian version of customer service, ie: none at all.

"OK well my name's Dion, and if you need any assistance today you can just ask me."


Not only that, my new supermarket sells bison:

When you have a visiting chief to feed.

You can't tell me that's not impressive. I've got no idea how to cook it, but I rather fancy the idea of making a bison burger. And then eating it while wearing fur.

Our new supermarket is so great, even Australian indie musicians are launching new product lines in it:

Where would I go, what would I do...?

Although they're perhaps not all that on top of their labelling system:

Sure, glazed apples are meat, whatever.

Hang about, isn't Bob Evans vegetarian? That rather stuffs up my plans for this new packaging:

It would have been such a big seller.

Our American supermarket also has four self-service checkouts so you can scan your own items and nick stuff more easily, plus they sell live lobsters out of an aquarium in the deli section. (TIP: don't try and combine these two things, it only ends in pain.)

But the final argument for why our new American supermarket is much cooler than our old Aussie one:

They're not just ANY lemons. They're FANCY.


  1. I've been equally bemused, appalled and offended by the grocery situation in this country. They sell tofu turkey (tofurkey) and pre-mixed peanut butter and jelly. Caaa-razy.

  2. Seriously, there's a supermarket in Manhattan? Have been trying to find one but come up with nothing but 7-11's and delis selling sandwiches and various sliced meats! :P

    Ray's Pizza keeps me alive, lol

  3. @RetroJetGirl did you know that Ray's pizza has closed down now? I mean THE Ray's pizza in Soho, not all the other ones that stole its name... Sad, we never got to go!

  4. Glazed apples 'sweetened with apple cider and REAL sugar'. As opposed to that fake stuff. We believe in calories here! (By the way, $5 would buy A HEAP of REAL apples, and 'glazing'in a pan or microwave takes seconds.

  5. Just so we in Aus don't feel too sorry for ourselves for not living in America, I have to point out that we *do* have self-service checkouts in our supermarkets.

    Not that I think they're so great... frankly, I think for the prices supermarkets charge, they might as well provide some customer service.