RuPaul's Drag Race season 9 recaps

The shadiest Drag Race recaps on the web. Get ready to death drop, queens!

The Bachelorette Australia recaps

One woman, 14 desperate men, mucho LOLs. Oh, and Osher Gunsberg.

The Bachelor Australia recaps

Sequins, spray tans and sex - it's season 3 of the world's stupidest dating show.

RuPaul's Drag Race Season 8 recaps

YASS, HUNTIES! Every episode of season eight recapped for your reading pleasure. Let's get sickening!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Bachelor episode recap: S16 E9

Tonight Ben and The Women head to Switzerland for this season's "Fantasy Suite" episode, otherwise known as the "Ben gets to screw three women in one week with no repercussions" episode, also known as the "This show single handedly sets back feminism 100 years" episode.

Switzerland is a country known for its cheese, its large, impenetrable masses of rock and for speaking languages no one understands - all characteristics shared by Ben himself.

"I've experienced every emotion in the book - love, anger, sadness," says Ben, which is coincidentally every emotion I experience as they show him boarding a first class flight to Switzerland.

Except for the "love" part. Jealousy, maybe.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Bachelor episode recap: S16 E8

Guys, is there anything in life worse than meeting your new girlfriend's parents for the first time?

Well, yeah. Meeting them for the first time just eight weeks after you started dating her.

Meeting them for the first time just eight weeks after you started dating her and talking about marriage.

Meeting them for the first time just eight weeks after you started dating her, talking about marriage and sawing your own balls off with a rusty butter knife.

Then again, there's always a mock wedding with Courtney.

This is pretty much worse than anything.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Bachelor episode recap: S16 E7

On this week's episode of the Central American Tourism Board Infotainment Hour we're in Belize, where once again the canny producers haven't missed an opportunity to put The Benchelor in a boat:

He's on a boat.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

The Bachelor episode recap: S16 E6

I hope you're sitting down for this because, and I'm just going to come right out and say it: this was the craziest episode of The Bachelor so far. Crazier than the time they climbed that bridge and called it a "date". Crazier than the time they skiied down the street in their bikinis and called it "fun". Crazier than Jenna the blogger on six bottles of Pinot Grigio.


Thursday, February 02, 2012

Ben Flajnik sings about his dick, viewers gag

Just when you thought The Bachelor's Ben Flajnik coudn't get any more repellant, up he pops on YouTube singing about his dick.

Not content with flashing his Little Ben all over national TV in Monday night's skinny dipping incident, this season's Bachelor has now surfaced in a Lonely Island-esque spoof music video called "Cream Dreams", in which he calls himself "The Storm Horse" and raps about how his "dick can fulfill your bedtime fantasies" with its "white pee".

Weirdly, this wig is better than his actual hair.