RuPaul's Drag Race season 8 recaps

The shadiest Drag Race recaps on the web. Get ready to death drop, queens!

The Bachelorette Australia recaps

One woman, 14 desperate men, mucho LOLs. Oh, and Osher Gunsberg.

The Bachelor Australia recaps

Sequins, spray tans and sex - it's season 3 of the world's stupidest dating show.

RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 recaps

YASS, HUNTIES! Every episode of season seven recapped for your reading pleasure. Let's get sickening!

Sunday, September 27, 2015

The Bachelorette Australia Episode Recap: Season 1, Episode 2

We begin episode two at the end of a jetty, where bachelorette Sam is going over the men she met at last night's cocktail party and is considering jumping off.

Friday, September 25, 2015

The Bachelorette Australia Episode Recap: Season 1, Episode 1

So there I was, recovering in the emergency room after a vodka shot induced near-death-experience from recapping the season finale of The Bachelor Australia, when it came on the TV:

Sigh.

Yes, it appears that after three years Australians have finally decided they quite enjoy watching desperate singles fight each other for flowers on the telly, so now we have The Bachelorette - just like the The Bachelor, but more predatory.

Monday, September 21, 2015

The Bachelor Australia Episode Recap: Season 3, Episode 16 FINALE

It's finally arrived, the grand conclusion to this nationally televised eight week desperation festival SO WE CAN FINALLY FORGET IT AND GET ON WITH OUR LIVES.

Over the last 15 episodes we've seen more more saliva spread around than at a stutterers' public speaking convention, more cheese cut than at a Mexican food festival, and more roses flung about than that time that florist was attacked by wasps in her delivery truck.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

The Bachelor Australia Episode Recap: Season 3, Episode 15

This episode begins on the edge of a cliff where, having just said goodbye to the only bachelorette with a personality, Sam is considering throwing himself into the ocean.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

The Bachelor Australia Episode Recap: Season 3, Episode 14

Well, this is it people. After 13 episodes, approximately 3700 litres of champagne, 270 packets of brie and two promotional gifts from Zamels we've arrived at the final four.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

The Bachelor Australia Episode Recap: Season 3, Episode 13

We rejoin our bachelorettes in the Shag Mansion's sunroom of doom, where they're all discussing the long and arduous journey they've all endured to get to the final five.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

The Bachelor Australia Episode Recap: Season 3, Episode 12

After spending the weekend on a diet of dry toast, water and immodium Bachelor Sam has recovered from that rose ceremony and is back on form. How do we know?

He's on a boat. Again.

Wednesday, September 09, 2015

The Bachelor Australia Episode Recap: Season 3, Episode 11

We rejoin our bachelorettes in the Shag Mansion's Laura-Ashley-decorated waiting room of the damned where everyone is pretending to be upset about Hey Bro! getting the arse last week by making various sad noises.

"It was horrible saying goodbye to her," says Nina.

"I mean for one thing it was super confusing. Like, 'Goodbye, Hey Bro!' just doesn't make sense."

Tuesday, September 01, 2015

The Bachelor Australia Episode Recap: Season 3, Episode 10

We kick things off in the rumpus room of the Shag Mansion where all the bachelorettes are lounging around in Dotti's new casual separates range discussing Nietzsche's theory of the Ubermensch.

The Bachelor Australia Episode Recap: Season 3, Episode 9

It's late night after the cocktail party, and everyone is sitting around in their customary "bedtime makeup" mourning the recent eviction of... er... what was her name again? You know the one. Blonde. Never said anything.